Not Quite Suicide
by DarkandtwistyGirl
Summary: Dean couldn’t stop Sam from running back into the burning house during 'Salvation', and they are both injured. Sam manages to kill the demon, but at what cost? *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: This is what I get for watching 'Salvation' and 'Devil's Trap' way too much. Let me know what you think.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Just as the nursery window is blown out by an explosion Sam helps Monica out of the house, closely followed by Dean, who is carrying Rosie. When they reach Monica's husband Charlie, who is standing in the middle of the front lawn, he yells at Sam and Dean. "You get away from my family!"

"Charlie, don't! They saved us." Monica takes Rosie from Dean. "They saved us." Charlie kisses her forehead, and then she turns to Sam and Dean. "Thank you."

Sam turns and looks up at the bedroom window. His eyes widen. The silhouette of the demon can be seen at the window. "It's still in there." Sam moves to go back inside, dean grabs his arm.

"Sam, no!"

"Dean, let me go! It's still in there!" Sam shouts, pulling free from his brother's grip, and running towards the house.

"It's burning to the ground… It's suicide!" Dean screams at Sam, the panic clear in his voice.

Sam turns back to face his brother. "I don't care!" Then without giving Dean a chance to stop him he runs back into the house, leaving Dean standing outside, terrified that he's going to lose his brother.

Watching as his house burns to the ground, with one of his family's rescuers still inside, Charlie dials 911.

Just as he ends the call a single gunshot rings out through the air, clearly resonating from the nursery. _Did he get it? Could this really be over? _Dean thinks, turning his attention to the front door, expecting to see Sam emerge, but he doesn't.

Then Dean hears a noise coming from deep in the burning house, he throws himself at Charlie and Monica, forcing them to the ground seconds before an explosion rocks the house, and flames and debris erupt from the house.

Lifting himself up Dean looks back to the house. "SAM! ...SAMMY!!" He screams in anguish as the now completely engulfed house begins to collapse in on itself.

* * *

Once Sam enters the burning house he quickly locates the stairs, and runs back into the nursery. As he enters the room he sees the yellow eyed demon standing in the corner, as though waiting for him. The door slams behind him, and realisation hits him. _Shit! I'm trapped. It knew I'd come back, how could I be so stupid?!_

The yellow eyed demon steps forward, laughing evilly. "Why Samuel, so nice of you to show up, I thought you of all people would have known better." It taunts him.

Without hesitation Sam raises the colt, and shoots it straight through the temple. Sam then watches as its body appears to be electrocuted from the inside out, and falls to the ground. "It's over." He whispers disbelievingly, momentarily forgetting his current situation, he walks up to the yellow eyed demon's corpse. "That was for mom, you sonvabitch."

As soon as the last word leaves his lips, the house shakes beneath his feet, and then explodes, sending him flying out of one of the house's side windows, and crashing down to the hard earth. His whole body burned and broken, the last thing he hears as he slips from consciousness is Dean screaming his name desperately. _I'm sorry Dean. I just couldn't let it get away again. I'm so sorry._

* * *

Clinging to the hope that his brother could have somehow gotten out, Dean starts frantically searching around the house, not stopping even when he feels the heat of the flames burning his skin, the ash and smoke invading his eyes, nose, and mouth. Just as he's about to give up he sees a shape lying less than ten feet from the house. "Sam?" Despite everything working against him, Dean manages to see Sam's face, and instantly forgets his own pain, and runs to his brother's side. _Not again, I can't lose anyone else because of this damn demon. Please be alright Sammy. _

Once he reaches Sam, Dean tries to assess his injuries, but between the thick smoke, and his own injuries, he can't. Only now hearing sirens in the distance Dean knows he has to get Sam to safety himself, being mindful not to aggravate any possible injuries, he picks Sam up in his arms, which is no easy task under the best circumstances, let alone now, but he does it, and then carries Sam to the front lawn, barely noticing Charlie and Monica's shocked expressions, and gasps before he lowers Sam to the ground, then collapses bonelessly beside him.

**

* * *

**

Thanks for reading!

**Do you like it, should I continue? **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

By the time Dean starts to come around, the paramedics have loaded him onto a gurney, and into an ambulance, which is now speeding towards the hospital. Despite his semiconscious state Dean can feel a number of moist bandages wrapped around his forearms, hands, and face, the telltale pinch of an IV line in the crook of his elbow, and an uncomfortable oxygen mask strapped to his face. "Wha' 'appened?" He asks as he tries to sit up, his voice sounds foreign to him; it's so painfully hoarse, not to mention muffled by the mask.

A cute young paramedic moves into his line of sight. "You were in a fire; you've got some hasty burns and probably some smoke inhalation. We'll have you at the hospital real soon."

"Wers'… Smmyy?"

"The man that you were found beside?" The paramedic clarifies as she adjusts one of the bandages on his forearm.

Dean nods, then wincing as he discovers that his neck has also been burnt, and moving it is an extremely bad idea.

"He's in another ambulance. They're doing everything they can." She informs him diplomatically, not wanting to further upset her patient.

Dean falls back against the gurney, fighting back the nauseous feeling that comes over him as he remembers how Sam had looked when he found him; most of his skin was burnt to the point it looked sort of like leather, dark and tough, and he wasn't conscious, he didn't even stir when Dean moved him. _How could he not have regained consciousness, it must have hurt_.

* * *

Several hours later Dean is sitting on a narrow hospital bed, trying to remain stoic as a nurse cleans and dresses the burns on his arms, hands, face, and neck, they keep saying it's a good thing that he can feel it, but right now he can't see why. "Have you heard any more about how Sam's doing?" Dean asks the nurse.

"No, I'm sorry. The last I heard they were transferring him up to the burn treatment centre at University of Iowa Hospital, once I'm done here I'll try to get you an update."

"Thanks…" At this point the nurse is just finishing wrapping gauze bandages over the dressings. Dean looks around the room, as much as his injured body will allow, trying to find his possessions. "Where're my clothes… my phone?"

"Just here." The nurse reaches under the bed, retrieves a clear plastic bag filled with Dean's soot covered belongings, fishes out the cell phone, and hands it to Dean. "Here you go, anything else I can do for you?"

"Get me out of here." Dean suggests whilst he struggles to open the phone.

The nurse laughs slightly. "Quite a one track mind you've got…" He'd already asked this question at least two dozen times. "…We'll let you go in a few hours, but how you intend to drive to Iowa City is beyond me, your hands are a mess."

"No choice." Dean offers simply as the nurse picks up the supplies, and walks away.

Dean awkwardly types in his father's cell phone number, and holds it to his ear, listening to it ring._Dad should have called by now, something must have happened._ After a moment a female voice which is quickly becoming all too familiar answers. "You boys really screwed up this time."

_Meg. Oh shit! _"Where is he?"

"You're never gonna see your father again." Meg ends the call.

Shocked, Dean snaps the phone closed, and puts it down on the bed. "Damn it!" He yells, causing several people to stare.

* * *

After taking a few minutes to compose himself, Dean picks the phone back up, and dials another number, three rings later a gruff, tired voice answers. "Bobby?"

"Dean? That you boy?"

"Yeah, it's me… I need some help, I didn't know who else to call."

"Okay. What the hell happened to you Dean? You sound like crap."

_Well, now you ask Sam decided that it would be fun to run into a burning building, now he's probably going to die, and just because we didn't have enough to deal with, a demon has our father. _"We found the demon… Sam killed it, but he got hurt doing it. And Dad walked straight into another demon's trap for him, and I don't know… He could be…" Dean's voice drops to a whisper. "…dead."

"Damn. You do know that you boys have the worst luck of anyone I've ever met, right?"

"You're telling me. So any way, I really need help, how soon can you meet up with me?"

"Where are you?"

"Right now I'm in Salvation, Iowa, but Sam's been moved to a hospital in Iowa City, as soon as I get my walking papers I'll head that way."

"I can be there by this evening. And what do you mean 'walking papers'? Did you get hurt too?"

"Yeah, got some burns, nothing that won't heal with time."

"Okay Dean, I'll see you soon."

"Thanks Bobby."

* * *

Meanwhile in University of Iowa Hospital, surgeons are working feverishly to repair Sam's numerous internal injuries and fractured bones; the second and third degree burns that cover over seventy percent of his body have already been debrided, cleaned, and dressed in an attempt to prevent infection from setting in. An intern walks into the room, quickly making his way over to the operating table. "Dr Lake, I've got a nurse from Salvation Hospital on the phone, she's trying to get an update on this guy for his brother."

Dr Lake, the lead surgeon replies. "He's stable, we've repaired the skull fracture, punctured lung, and ruptured liver and spleen, we still have to stabilize his fractured pelvis, and every fracture in his legs."

The intern's eyes widen, he's ever heard of someone surviving burns, and those kinds of injuries. "Whoa."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review, I love hearing peoples thoughts/ideas on and for my stories.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

A harried looking doctor comes over to where Dean is standing impatiently, waiting to be released; Dean's now dressed in a set of green scrubs given to him by a nurse, because between the ash, soot, and blood, his clothes were ruined. _About time, I've gotta get outta here. Chances are now that she's got Dad, Meg'll come after me and Sam, so I need to get away out of this town, and get to Sam so I can protect him._

"Mr Fredrickson, I have your discharge papers here." Dean cringes upon hearing their latest assumed name. _I am never, ever having Sam apply for the cards again. 'Fredrickson' what the hell was he thinking?_

"At long last." Dean lets out an exasperated sigh, he just wants to go get the Impala, and get to Sam.

"We're sorry for the wait." The doctor offers, he's clearly used to dealing with people who have been forced to wait for hours. "Before you go, I just need to go over a few things."

"Fine."

The doctor begins an obviously familiar speech. "Be sure to keep every burned area covered by the medicated creams, and dressings. Take all of the prescribed medications. And go to the outpatient clinic at U of I tomorrow, I've made you an appointment with one of their doctors, Dr Mackenzie. He'll discuss any and all further treatment you will require." The doctor hands Dean a manila folder. "Here's some fact sheets, useful numbers, all that sort of thing. Good luck."

"Thanks doc." Dean replies before walking hastily from the hospital, and catching a cab to go back to where he left the Impala.

* * *

When the cab pulls up behind the Impala, which is still parked across the street from the burnt rubble of the house, Dean can't look away from the wreckage. _How the fuck did we get outta there? _

A moment later, Dean is snapped from his thoughts by the cab driver, who is clearly keen to be payed and leave. "Hey buddy. You gonna pay the ten dollars, and get out, or have you changed ya' mind?"

"Nah, here you go." Dean hands over a few crumpled notes, and climbs out quickly. He then walks over to his precious car, climbs in, and peels away from the kerb at a speed he usually reserved for life and death situations, which considering the current circumstances is probably appropriate.

* * *

Several hours later Dean arrives in Iowa City, more specifically the reception desk for the Burn ICU at the University of Iowa Hospital. He quickly gets the attention of the receptionist. "Good afternoon sir, how may I help you?"

"My brother's a patient here, Sam Fredrickson. I want to see him." _And no matter what you say I will see him._

The receptionist smiles at Dean sympathetically. "I'll page his attending physician; he asked to speak with you before you see your brother." She motions to a small waiting area. "Please take a seat, Dr Chan will be out shortly."

Dean walks over to the waiting area, and promptly collapses into a hard plastic chair, his exhaustion and injuries catching up with him. _Hurry up doc, I need to see Sammy._

It doesn't take long for Dean to start beating himself up about Sam getting hurt, and his Dad being taken by Meg. _I should have stopped Sam, if I had just gotten hold of him, we wouldn't be here. I never should have let Dad go to the warehouse by himself. I've screwed everything up, this is all my fault._

* * *

Almost an hour later a middle aged Asian man wearing a white coat walks over to Dean. "Mr Fredrickson?"

Dean quickly stands up. "Call me Dean." He goes to shake the doctor's hand, but then remembers the damage to his hands, and stops.

"My name's Dr Chan; I'm going to be overseeing the treatment of your brother's burn injuries." Dr Chan notices the fresh white bandages covering Dean's hands. "You were hurt as well?"

"Yeah, but I'm fine. Can I see Sam now?"

"In a minute, could we speak privately first?"

"I guess so." Dean replies before following Dr Chan into his office, and quickly accepts the doctor's offer for him to sit down. "So, how's Sam doing? Is he gonna be alright?" Dean questions worriedly.

"Sam is currently in a critical, but stable condition. That is the best we could hope for at the moment, the next few days will probably be very touch and go for him, if infection sets in…"

"He… he'll die?" Dean asks, already on the verge of breaking down.

"If he gets an infection his chances of survival are extremely slim. But I can assure you that we will do everything possible to avoid that, we've placed him in a sterile room, and he'll probably stay there until his condition improves." After a moment Dr Chan continues. "Sam's had a number of surgical procedures preformed since his arrival here, both for the burns, and for the injuries he sustained in the fall."

"When you say injuries, what are we talking about? Broken bones? Bleeding? And what are you doing about them?" Dean questions, trying to get all the information he can.

"He has third degree burns to over seventy percent of his body, which we've debrided and covered, and once he's stronger I'll start doing skin grafts to cover the burned areas. Another doctor, Dr Lake is overseeing the treatment of all the other injuries, so he'll be able to tell you more, but I can give you a basic idea of all that."

"Okay."

"Sam has numerous fractures and internal injuries, the most serious of which are a punctured lung, ruptured liver and spleen, which were repaired surgically, and should heal well, he also has a fractured skull, severely fractured pelvis, and a number of fractures to both his legs, all of those have been stabilized using metal plates and screws."

"Is he awake, or what?"

"No, we have placed him in a drug induced coma to allow his body time to recover…" He notices the shocked look that flashes across Dean's face. "...It really is for the best, hopefully in a few days time we'll be able to wean him off the drugs, and allow him to wake up."

"Is that all?" Dean asks, clearly just wanting to see Sam.

"Almost, have you seen him at all yet?"

"Not since I found him, and even then I didn't get a real look, why?"

"Before you see him, you need to know that he won't look the same, you might not even be able to recognise him. Most of his body is covered by burn dressings, and he's on a ventilator, a number of monitors, and several intravenous medications. Finally, when you go into the burn ICU, you'll need to put on a protective gown, gloves, mask, and cap, for Sam's and your protection."

"Fine." Dean agrees quickly.

"Good, please come with me, and I'll have one of the nurses' help you."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review, I love hearing peoples thoughts/ideas on and for my stories.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Also, keep in mind that it's currently just past 1am, so please forgive any mistakes. I really wanted to get this chapter up for you all.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Are you ready?" Sam's nurse, Casey asks Dean once he's finished putting on all the protective clothing, which given the bandages on his body, was not an easy task, they quickly gave up on putting on gloves.

Dean turns to face Casey. "As I'll ever be." _Meg could show up at any time, I have to be there to protect Sam._

Casey shows Dean into Sam's room, there is a curtain drawn around the bed. Casey takes a quick look at Dean, silently offering support before she steps forward, takes hold of the curtain, and pulls it back slowly. As soon as Sam's injured body comes into full view Dean feels the bile rushing into his mouth, quickly clasps his hand over his mouth, and runs into the bathroom.

Casey pulls the curtain partially back around Sam's bed, and then waits patiently outside the door, involuntarily cringing as she hears Dean violently retching, cursing in between from the combined pain of his injuries being aggravated, and of his stomach's violent protests. This isn't the first time she's seen someone react like this to seeing their relative here, and it definitely won't be the last.

* * *

A minute later Dean emerges from the bathroom, still looking ill. "Better?" Casey asks, giving Dean a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, I just…" _His skin… what the hell is that? It's so messed up. I know it is Sam, but it doesn't look anything like him. If I had just stopped him in time…_

"I know, it's alright." Casey says understandingly. "Do you want to take another minute?"

"No, I'm fine." _No matter what he looks like, that's still Sam lying in that bed, and I have to be there for him._

Very uneasily and slowly Dean walks past the half drawn curtain, stopping a couple of feet from the bed, fighting back the urge to run away or throw up again, unable to get used to seeing his baby brother in such bad shape.

"You can go closer, sit next to the bed if you want. Just try to avoid touching the bandages." Casey offers after placing a plastic chair beside the bed, and moving back against the wall, allowing Dean some space.

After a moment Dean steps forward, carefully reaching towards Sam, and cautiously placing his bandaged fingertips on a small unburnt area of skin under Sam's left eye, the only uncovered area on his face. "Sammy." Dean whispers brokenly, still mentally berating himself for everything.

Slowly, almost unconsciously Dean begins to move his thumb in small circles on Sam's cheek. _I'm here Sam, and no matter what I'm going to get you through this. _

"Can he hear me?" Dean asks, never taking his eyes off of Sam.

"Even if he can't respond, he can almost certainly hear you. I think it helps comatose patients a lot for someone to be talking to them, letting them know they're not alone." Casey looks at her watch. "I've got go check on my other patients, just press the call button if you need assistance, or have any more questions." She quickly walks out of the room.

"It's gonna be alright Sam, everything's gonna be alright." _No it's not, nothing's ever going to be alright again, and it's my fault._

After several minutes of silence, except for the sounds of monitors and machines, Dean speaks again, almost begging. "You've gotta get better Sammy, please. I can't do this alone." _Please, please get better. I can't lose you Sam, not after everything we've been through._

Dean steps back, and slumps down into the chair, buries his head in his hands, ignoring the searing pain this causes, and dissolves into tears.

* * *

A little over an hour later Bobby walks into the room, also dressed in the full set of protective clothing. The first thing he sees is Dean, still sitting in the hard plastic chair, sobbing harshly, blood and fluid now soaking through all of the bandages. _Dean's hurt and he's crying?! If Dean's in that bad a shape, how badly hurt is Sam?_

Taking another step forward Sam's injured body comes into view. "Shit."

Upon hearing Bobby's shocked response to seeing Sam, Dean looks up at him with bloodshot eyes. "Bobby."

Bobby walks to Dean's side, and squeezes his shoulder as a small measure of comfort. "How you doing kid?"

"I'm fine." Dean says weakly, wincing as he wipes the tears after from his burned face a little too harshly. He quickly forces himself to regain his composure, and turn his focus back to Sam. "They don't know if he's gonna make it through."

"Oh man. Have you heard anything more about your Daddy?"

"Nothin'… Not a single god damned word. And the demon that took him is probably going to come after me and Sam next. What're we gonna do?"

"I don't know Dean, first step would be to put as much protection in the room as we can without anyone noticing, then we'll plan our next move, okay?"

"Okay."

Dean and Bobby spend the next twenty minutes placing as many subtle protective symbols and charms around the room as possible, stopping everytime someone enters the room to check on Sam, and once when Casey insisted that Dean let her change his bloodied bandages. Once they finish, Bobby and Dean both sit down at Sam's bedside, watching everything around them, waiting for all hell to break loose.

* * *

Barely five minutes after they finished putting protection on the room, the door slams open, revealing Meg, who strides quickly into the room. Bobby is on his feet instantly, with Dean following a second later. "No more crap, okay?" Meg says as Dean makes the mistake of walking towards her, for which she flings him into a wall, and he collapses to the ground. Meg walks closer to Bobby, who backs away, keeping himself between Meg and Sam. "I want the Colt… the real Colt. Right now." Meg demands.

Bobby is quick to reply. "It's not here. We buried it."

Now fuming Meg takes another step towards Bobby, and subsequently Sam. "Didn't I say, 'No more crap'? I swear, after everything I heard about the Winchesters, I've got to tell you, I'm a little underwhelmed. First, Johnny tries to pawn off a fake gun, and then he leaves the real gun with these two chuckleheads. Lackluster, men. I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?"

Dean comes up behind her. "Actually, we were counting on it." Meg turns around to face him, and in turn he looks up at the ceiling. She looks up also and sees a devils trap above her. "Gotcha."

Dean and Bobby quickly barricade the door, and tie Meg to a chair. "You know, if you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask." Bobby and Dean ignore her.

Dean moves closer to Meg. "Where's our father, Meg?"

"You didn't ask very nice." She replies in a sarcastic voice.

"Where's our father, bitch?" Dean questions angrily.

"Jeez, you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I forgot. You don't." Meg taunts.

Dean leans in very close, mere inches from her face "Hey, you think this is a friggin' game?! Where is he?! What did you do to him?"

"He died screaming. I killed him myself." She gives him a wicked smile, and now seething with anger Dean backhands her. "That's kind of a turn on… you hitting a girl."

"You're no girl." Dean replies confidently.

"Dean." Bobby says as he pulls Dean away.

"I'll explain why later, but for now you've gotta know, don't hurt her."

"Okay." Dean answers, confused.

They walk back over to Meg, and Dean quickly gags her, whilst Bobby takes a scrap of paper from his pocket, and prepares to read.

They ignore her muffled taunts and comments as Bobby starts the exorcism ritual.

"You're gonna burn in hell, unless you tell us where our dad is." Dean says, not surprised when Meg doesn't respond. "Well, at least you'll get a nice tan."

Bobby continues the reading the Latin incantation. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus , omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio, et secta diabolica." Meg, who is already trembling, suddenly lets out a muffled scream. "Perditionis venenum propinare. Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis." Things start to get blow around. "Humiliare sub potenti manu dei, contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine, quem inferi tremunt." Meg screams again, shaking uncontrollably.

"Where is he?" Dean questions, pulling away the gag.

"You just won't take 'dead' for an answer, will you?"

"Where is he?!"

"Dead!"

"No, he's not! He's not dead, he can't be!" Dean half yells, not wanting to attract the staffs' attention. Bobby looks at Dean, confused. "What are you lookin' at? Keep reading." Dean resecures the gag.

"Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, domine. Ut ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos."

Meg screams again, louder this time. After a moment she weakly says. "A building! Okay? A building in Jefferson City."

"Missouri? Where, where? An address!"

"I don't know!" Meg says, exhausted, tears running down her face, her breathing heavy.

Dean turns to Bobby. "Finish it."

Meg looks at him incredulously. "What? I told you the truth!"

"I don't care."

Bobby reluctantly continues. "Dominicos sanctae ecclesiae. Terogamus audi nos." As he continues to read, Meg's body twitches, then her eyes turn coal-black.

A moment later, she tilts her head up to the ceiling and lets out a long, loud scream. An enormous cloud of black smoke erupts from her mouth. The two men watch in awe.

When the demon has left her body, Meg's head falls forward, and she is now motionless, seemingly dead. There's a string of blood and saliva dripping from her mouth, and then suddenly, she begins to lift her head up slowly.

"She's still alive." Dean exclaims, then turns to Bobby. "Get help." Bobby walks out of the room.

Dean awkwardly unties the gag, and the ropes around Meg's wrists. "Thank you." Meg says weakly, then whispers. "A year."

"What?"

"It's been a year. I've been awake….for some of it. I couldn't move my own body. The things I did—it's a nightmare."

"Do you know anything about where my dad is?"

"By the r-river… Sunrise." Meg answers in her final breath.

"Sunrise? What does that mean?" Dean questions her, irrationally hoping she might tell him more. _Dad's alive, in Missouri, now we've just gotta go find him. But first, how the hell are we gonna explain this one?_ Dean contemplates as he looks around the room, Meg slumped over in the chair, dead, a painted symbol directly above her.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review, I love hearing peoples thoughts/ideas on and for my stories.**

**And BTW I know that a lot of this chapter is closely tied in with the episode, but I thought this was one part that really had to be told more or less like it was in the show. Let me know if it worked or not.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"What the?!" A doctor exclaims as he, along with several nurses follow Bobby back into the room.

_Con time. _"She came in here, freaking out, drawing all these symbols and things, then she collapsed. It was crazy, is she… did she… what happened to her?" Dean says, feigning innocence and shock.

The doctor moves quickly to check her pulse. "She's dead." He whispers almost inaudibly. After taking a moment he looks up at one of the nurses. "Take her downstairs, there's nothing we can do …And we'll have to move the patient to another room; this one will need to be cleaned." More directly this time he asks Dean. "What happened here?"

"I swear I have no idea, she was acting crazy, then she collapsed, that's all I know." Dean sees Casey and a couple of orderlies moving Sam out of the room. "I've gotta go, I need to be with Sam."

"Oh of course, go on." Dean and Bobby hastily exit the room before the doctor can change his mind.

* * *

Ten minutes later Sam is settled into his new room, and the nurses have all left the room. Dean and Bobby are standing in the far corner of the room, talking. "Did she tell you anything, before…"

"Yeah, he's being held by the river. The last thing she said was 'Sunrise', but I have no idea what she meant."

"Good, at least now we have some idea where I've gotta go to find him-"

Dean interrupts. "What do you mean you've gotta go? I have to go find him."

"No, you need to be here for Sam, unless you want to leave him here alone. And besides if there's a fight, you're not even going to be able to protect yourself, just let me go find him." Bobby explains rationally.

Dean runs his hand through his hair frustratedly. "Damn it!" He exclaims angrily.

"It'll be okay Dean. You just stay here with Sam, and I'll go find your Dad, bring him back here."

"Thanks Bobby." Dean replies gratefully as Bobby leaves the room.

Once Bobby's left, Dean pulls a chair up to the bedside, and sits down. After a minute he carefully places his hand back up to Sam's cheek, telling himself it's just so Sam knows he isn't alone, but really Dean needs the contact just as much, if not more.

* * *

Several hours later Bobby arrives in Jefferson City, Missouri. He steps out of his truck, and begins to walk along the edge of the river silently. After a few minutes he walks through some shrubbery, and looks around. "Sunrise." Bobby comments to himself as he sees the sign in front of an apartment building. "Son of a bitch. Whatever demons are guarding him could be possessing anyone, it's a whole building of human shields." A moment later Bobby decides to pull the fire alarm to get all the civilians out, so he can find where the demons are holding John.

* * *

After searching a number of apartments Bobby's EMF detector starts beeping frantically, he quickly picks the lock, and bursts in, spraying two possessed people with holy water, forcing them backwards into a cupboard, and then pouring a line of salt while he holds the door shut by leaning against it.

Once they have locked the demons inside, Bobby quickly searches the apartment. When he finally reaches the bedroom, he discovers John lying unconscious on the bed.

Bobby leans over John's prone body, after checking his breathing, and untying the ropes, he shakes John lightly, and says. "John? John, wake up!"

John starts to come around. "Bobby?"

"You okay John?"

John sits up weakly. "They've been druggin' me. Where're m' boys?"

Bobby looks away uneasily under the glare John gives him when he doesn't answer. Eventually he replies. "They got hurt, they're at the hospital, I'm gonna take you to them."

"Thanks …Did they get it, the demon?"

_I just told him his boys are hurt, and he asks if they killed the demon?! _Bobby sighs. "They got it; now let's get the hell outta here."

* * *

Bobby and John arrive at the hospital early the next morning, after having spent the previous night driving, and then patching up the various minor injuries littering John's body.

As Bobby shows John all the required protective clothing, John says. "You never actually told me what happened, why my boys are here, why we have to put on all this to go see them."

"I don't have the full story, you'll have to get Dean to tell you." They promptly finish getting ready, and walk towards Sam's room.

* * *

When they reach the doorway to Sam's room, Bobby stops John, and instructs him. "Wait here a minute, I'll get Dean… You should talk to him before you see Sam."

Without hesitation John pushes past Bobby, and pulls back the curtain abruptly. "John, don't!" Bobby warns him, but John has already laid eyes on his sons.

"Dean?"

Dean notices his father's presence, and looks to him. "Dad."

"Sammy? Please tell me that's not… Son, what…?"

"I tried to stop him, but… but I wasn't fast enough… He saw the demon, still inside, he ran back in… I should have stopped him, I'm sorry Dad I screwed up." Dean tells his father, still mentally beating himself up.

John takes a step towards the bed, not entirely believing that the badly injured person on the bed in front of him was Sam. "It's not… that can't be… How the fuck could this happen to m' boy?!"

"Sorry Dad, I couldn't stop him." Dean replies, again trying to fight back tears.

At this point John realises that his older son is also hurt… and hurting, John quickly closer to Dean, and kneels in front of him. "Are you alright son? Why've you got all those bandages?"

Dean self-consciously turns away. "I'm fine, let it go."

John grabs Dean's shoulder, and forces him to turn back around. "Talk to me Dean."

"I couldn't leave him there… the flames… I didn't even notice I was getting burned."

"Burned?! How bad?" John questions worriedly.

"It's nothing… compared to… Sam." Knowing his answer wouldn't satisfy his father Dean continues. "Second degree. The doctor back in Salvation said they'd probably heal in a few weeks, but I've gotta see someone here, later today."

"And Sam?"

Dean decides to paraphrase Dr Chan's earlier information session. "He has third degree burns to over seventy percent of his body, which they debrided and covered, and once he's stronger they'll start doing skin grafts to cover the burned areas. He's also got numerous fractures and internal injuries, the most serious of which are a punctured lung, ruptured liver and spleen, which were repaired surgically, and should heal well, he also has a fractured skull, severely fractured pelvis, and a number of fractures to both his legs, all of those have been stabilized using metal plates and screws."

John stares open mouthed at his eldest son. _This is my fault. If I hadn't left them to fight the demon alone this never would have happened. _"Is he gonna make it?" John chokes out, fearing the answer.

"The doc said he's critical, he could die."

John turns to the door. "I can't do this… You'll let me know… you know…if he…" John says brokenly, before making a rapid retreat.

A minute later Bobby enters the room, looking very pissed off. "That man! How dare he leave?! His own children are hurt, and he takes off?!"

"It's okay Bobby, me and Sam will be okay without him here. Really."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review, I love hearing peoples thoughts/ideas on and for my stories.**

**Should John stay gone? Is the demon really dead? What kind of twists and turns will there be? Will Sam survive his devestating injuries? And finally, if he does survive will he ever look the same, or will he be scarred for life? ****(Maybe I like hurting these boys too much)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Late that afternoon Dean is pacing impatiently in the waiting room of the out patient clinic. He'd only agreed to leave Sam's side after Bobby promised to find him if anything at all changed, and by the time the receptionist calls his name, Dean's practically climbing the walls.

Dean walks across the room quickly, the receptionist immediately enquires. "Dean Fredrickson?"

"Yeah."

"Dr Michaels is ready to see you."

"Where?"

"End of the hall, to your right." The receptionist answers matter-of-factly as she points him in the correct direction.

When Dean enters the room a pretty blonde doctor turns to face him, in any other circumstances he wouldn't hesitate in hitting on her, but now the thought doesn't even cross his mind. "Hey there, you must be Dean. I'm Dr Michaels… everyone calls me Liz." She greets Dean perkily, motioning for him to get onto the exam table.

"Hi." Dean replies as he sits down on the before mentioned table.

Liz starts cutting away the bandages as she asks. "Can you tell me how you were injured?"

"There's a folder over there with my name on it, it helps if you read it, then you don't have to ask questions." Dean answers cockily, completely avoiding the question.

"I've read your file… I want to hear your version of events." Liz tells him, unfazed by his attitude.

"Fine, I couldn't stop my brother from running back into a burning building. I got burned when I was getting him to away."

"Your brother was injured badly." Liz says, recalling something she'd read in Dean's file.

"He's in the burn ICU. Can we just get this over with so I can get back there?"

As she finishes examining each of the burns, and begins rewrapping them, Liz tells Dean. "They're all starting to heal, which is really good to see so soon. I think with the correct treatment we should be able to have you back good as new."

"Sounds good, what do you mean 'correct treatment'?"

"For now, dressings and prophylactic antibiotics. Once the skin has healed, depending on the amount of scarring you may need compression garments, and possibly splints to prevent the damaged skin from contracting."

_I can't be out of action for long, Sammy will need me there to help him. _"How long do you think it will be until this is over? …Until I can do everything again."

The sympathetic look on Liz's face says it all, after a moment she answers. "It could take up to two years for you to heal completely." Seeing Dean's clear distress she adds. "But it's also possible that after your skin has healed, that you will only need to do some physiotherapy, and come in for check ups for a few months."

* * *

Just under half an hour later Dean walks tiredly back into Sam's room; as he looks at Sam, he's still nauseated by the sight of his brother. Hearing Dean's footsteps, Bobby looks up at the younger hunter. "How'd you go Dean?"

_It hurt like hell, and then I found out that I could be this useless for TWO YEARS! And if it's this bad for me, what's it going to be like for Sam? _"Fine, I guess."

Not buying a word coming from Dean's mouth, Bobby says. "How'd it really go?"

"It was fine, really." Dean insists as he moves to Sam's side, and softly speaking to Sam. "I'm back, Sam." Dean sits down in an empty chair beside the bed, and they then sit in silence for what feels like, and quite possibly is hours.

Eventually Bobby speaks up. "Dean, talk to me. Tell me what's going on kid."

"Nothin'."

"Dean." Bobby says, trying to get the younger man to speak to him, to give him some idea of what is going on in his head.

"If I had of just stopped him… This is my fault Bobby." Dean berates himself.

Bobby looks at Dean as though he has gone mad. "What the hell are you talkin' about Dean?"

"I could've stopped Sam, if I had of just tried harder, none of this would've happened. I've screwed everything up."

Realisation hits Bobby like a tonne of bricks, almost too stunned to speak he responds. "This isn't your fault Dean, we both know your Dad and Sam were obsessed with killing the demon, nothing would have stood in Sam's way. This is not your fault."

_He blames SAM for this?! How fucking dare he?! _Dean thinks irrationally before standing up, and yelling at Bobby. "Get the hell outta here! Go now, and don't come back!"

Bobby backs uneasily away from Dean. "What?"

No longer thinking rationally, whatsoever Dean screams at Bobby. "GET OUT NOW!!"

Fearing that Dean would soon do something he'd regret Bobby concedes, and heads towards the door. "I'm going, you know where I'll be if you need anything." If Dean was paying any attention he would have seen a single tear rolling down Bobby's worn face as he left.

* * *

Hours later Dean is sleeping restlessly in a chair beside Sam's bed, when Casey walks in, years of training causing him to awaken abruptly. "Sorry to wake you, I just have to check on Sam." Casey offers apologetically.

"'Kay." Dean mumbles tiredly.

"How's everything going Dean?" Casey asks kindly as she moves to check Sam's vitals.

Dean looks up, not having heard what Casey said. "Huh?"

"How is everything going?" Casey repeats clearly.

"Oh, alright I guess. Pretty much the same." Dean responds wearily.

Just as Casey is about to reply, she checks the reading on the thermometer, the smile that seems to be permanently attached to her face quickly fades. "Damn."

"What's wrong? Is there a problem?" _Please let it be nothing, he doesn't deserve for this to get any worse._

"Just give me a minute." Casey tells Dean as she carefully lifts up each dressing in turn, when she eventually reaches the one on his left forearm, she finds that it is clearly infected.

Casey swears under her breath, before replying. "I'm going to go get his doctor… He has developed an infection."

As Casey hurries from the room, Dean remembers what Dr Chan had told him previously 'if he gets an infection his chances of survival are extremely slim'.

_Shit! You've gotta be alright Sammy, I can't lose you. Please, please fight this, and get better._

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Little cliffhanger for you all, let me know how you want it to turn out. Was the way Dean snapped at Bobby believable? With both John and Bobby gone, how will Dean cope as Sam's condition worsens? Should either of them come back? Should Dean have to have months of treatment, or only weeks? Will Sam survive this latest complication?**

**Please review, I love hearing peoples thoughts/ideas on and for my stories. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Sorry it took so long to put this up. I've just started my first job, and school's been really crazy. I'll keep updating as often as possible, but I make no promises.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, sorry I didn't reply to them. Please keep reviewing, it lets me know that people are still interested, and how I'm doing at writing. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Dr Chan walks briskly into Sam's room within minutes, and he wastes no time in going to Sam's side, and examining him. Upon noticing the doctor's presence Dean says. "Doc?" Silently questioning, 'What's going on?' And 'Is he going to be alright?'

Once Dr Chan has finished examining Sam, and has sent Casey to get something, he answers. "Sam has developed a severe infection." Dr Chan notices Dean pale significantly. "We're going to start him on a number of powerful antibiotics, and monitor his condition carefully."

"You said… if he got an infection he would… he'd die."

"I said his chances of survival would be very low." Dr Chan corrects. "With any luck the antibiotics will take effect within the next few hours, and his condition will improve. But I have to warn you, if his condition doesn't improve, or worsens you will have some difficult choices to make."

* * *

Just over five hours later Dr Chan shows Dean into a small conference room after many protests on Dean's part about leaving Sam. Once they are both seated Dr Chan looks through a file before turning to Dean, and saying. "Sam is not responding to the antibiotics. You need to think about what is best for Sam, what he would want."

"What are you… You're talking about… I'm not going to kill him."

"You would not be 'killing him', simply letting him go peacefully."

"Forget it! I won't do it!" Dean yells furiously. _How can he even suggest that?! …'Look out for Sammy' I already failed that by letting him get hurt, I'm not going to let the damn doctors give up on him. If it's the last thing I do, I will make sure Sam survives this._

Unfazed Dr Chan continues. "I can tell that you two are close, I am sure you know what you're brother would want in these circumstances. Even if by some miracle he manages to beat this infection, and recovers from his injuries, he will almost certainly be permanently disabled." Dr Chan looks Dean directly in the eye. "Is that what he would want?"

Dean thinks for a moment before answering firmly. "He would want a chance to fight… Do everything you can to save him."

"If that is what you truly want we will keep treating his condition aggressively, but you need to prepare yourself for the probability that he won't survive through the night."

_Sam has to live. Everyone else has either left, or I've pushed them away, he's all I've got left. I should have stopped him, why didn't I stop him?! _Dean stands up, and walks out of the room, completely numb and shocked.

* * *

As Dean is walking back towards Sam's room out of the corner of his eye he notices Bobby step out of the elevator, hesitantly Dean turns around, and goes over to Bobby. "You're back." Dean states awkwardly.

Bobby looks around, and sees Dean standing behind him. "Dean. I'm… I didn't mean to-"

Before Bobby can finish his sentence Dean interrupts him. "You don't have to say it. I know you don't think it was Sam's fault."

Surprised that Dean gave in so quickly Bobby questions. "What's going on Dean? Is Sam doing alright?"

"He… There's…" Dean mumbles, uncertain of how to say what's happened.

"Damn it Dean, what is wrong?!"

Taking a deep breath, and steeling himself Dean tells Bobby. "They've said Sam's got an infection, he probably won't live through the night. They wanted me to let them take him off the machines, Bobby they want me to let him die."

Seeing straight past Dean's strong façade, Bobby awkwardly pulls Dean into a hug, and feels Dean breakdown in his arms. _Why do things have to be so hard for these boys? Why can't they just catch a break once in a while? _

"It's alright Dean, you're gonna get through this."

"I can't lose him… Sam has to survive this. Bobby, I can't do this alone."

After several minutes Dean finally pulls away from Bobby. "Thanks, I don't know what-"

"Don't mention it boy. Did you call your Dad? He should be here if…" Bobby trails off, uncertain of how to say anything without upsetting Dean again.

"I haven't called him, and I'm not going to." Dean replies before angrily adding. "When, and that is when, not if Sam recovers I'm going to call Dad, and tell him where he can stick his title of 'parent'."

Clearing his throat, Bobby changes the topic quickly. "Where's Sam? Can we see him?"

"I guess he's still in his room, and I'd like to see them try and keep us away from him."

Without further delay, Dean and Bobby don the necessary protective wear, enter Sam's room, and take their places at his side.

* * *

It is almost five in the morning when Casey finally reports to Dean and Bobby, who by this point are looking much the worse for wear. "I don't really know how, but his fever's broken, and he's stabilized… The medications are working, Sam's getting better."

"Really?" Dean asks, trying not to get his hopes up.

"Really." Casey confirms before heading towards the doorway. "I've got to go get Dr Chan, I'll be back in a minute."

Once Casey has left, Dean and Bobby sit in silence. They are both lost in their own thoughts, which are mostly along the lines of 'he's getting better' and 'maybe he'll get through this after all'.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review, I love hearing peoples thoughts/ideas on and for my stories.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**So so sorry it's taken me this long to get this one done. Worst writers block EVER!**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and ever one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Moments later, Dr Chan briskly walks into Sam's room, and over to his patient. Then without taking his focus from Sam, Dr Chan says. "Dean, could you and…" He pauses, trying, and failing to remember Bobby's name. "…um, your friend step outside while I examine Sam?"

"But…" Dean begins, only to be interrupted by Casey.

"It will only be for a few minutes Dean… Why don't you go get a coffee, and by the time you come back we'll be done?"

"But, what if something happens and I'm not here?"

"We have your phone number at the nurses' station, and if anything changes at all I will call you straight away. If it's more comfortable for you, you can even wait just outside the door." Casey rationalizes as she guides Dean out of the room, with Bobby following closely behind.

* * *

Once Casey has finally gotten Dean out into the hallway, which is clearly as far a he will go, he turns around and questions her. "Why can't we stay with him? I've been with him round the clock since I got here, what's changed?"

"Dr Chan just wants to be able to focus completely on Sam while he checks him out. You want him to be able to focus on caring for your brother, don't you?" Casey asks knowingly.

Any attempt on Dean's part to continue is instantly halted, and he looks towards Sam's room, concern and irrational guilt swimming in his eyes. "I just… He's all…"

Seeing Dean's legs begin to buckle under him, Bobby moves to the younger hunter's side, and guides him into a nearby chair before taking the one next to it. "You alright Dean?"

Not even looking up Dean answers. "'M fine, just a bit tired."

Bobby laughs slightly at Dean's comment, which is possibly the biggest understatement ever. "Sure Dean, 'just a bit tired'. You look like you're about to pass out… When was the last time you slept anyway?" _Sam'll kick my butt if he wakes up, and Dean's not there for him 'coz I didn't make him take proper care of himself. _

After taking a moment to think Dean replies. "Haven't had more than a nap since… a couple of days before the fire."

"Damn it Dean. As soon as we've spoken to Sam's doctor I'm taking you back to the motel, and you aren't going to leave there until you've had a full night's sleep."

Dean looks at Bobby incredulously. _If Bobby thinks I'm going to leave Sam here by himself he's got another thing coming._ "No way! Forget it! I'm not going anywhere until Sam is better."

"Dean, you're hurt too, and unless you want to end up in here too, you are going to come back to the motel."

_I hate when he's right!_ "Fine, but only for the night, and not until I've spoken to his doctor, and I've seen Sam."

"Alright." Bobby agrees, not entirely happy, but knowing that Dean won't settle for less.

They then sit in silence until Dr Chan emerges from Sam's room about ten minutes later, causing Dean to jump to his feet despite his pain and exhaustion. It takes Dean barely five seconds to reach the doctor, and subsequently ask. "How's Sammy doing?"

A small smile breaks past Dr Chan's mask of professionalism; it isn't often that he can give this kind of news to families of people in similar situations to Sam's. "I truly cannot explain how, but it appears that Sam has beaten the infection, and as a result turned a major corner in his recovery. Don't get me wrong, he is still in a critical condition, and he has a long way to go, but I think he's going to pull through."

"Are you… Really?"

"Really. Provided that his condition holds through the night, we'll start weaning him off the sedatives tomorrow morning."

"He's going to wake up?" Dean asks, not even noticing that he sounds somewhat like an excited child.

"It may take a few days, but barring any further complications he will wake up."

"Thanks doc." Dean says gratefully as he shakes the older man's hand.

"You're most welcome. Do you want to come and see him now?"

Dean simply nods, not trusting his voice at that moment. He and Bobby then follow Dr Chan back towards Sam's room.

* * *

A little of an hour later Bobby leads Dean into a motel room. Dean immediately goes over to the nearest bed, and practically collapses into it, he's asleep before his head hits the pillow.

After getting himself a beer from the bar fridge, and settling into a chair, Bobby reaches for his cell, and dials John's number before he has a chance to change his mind.

_Even though he's an absolute ass, he's still their father. He deserves to know… even if it is only so that he can come back here so that Dean can have a go at him, after me of course._

* * *

A couple of minutes earlier in a small town a couple hours past Salvation Iowa, at least five hours away from Iowa City, John is leaning against the harsh brick wall of his motel room. He is holding the Colt in his hands, after having finally found it amongst the ashes of that house.

_I sent them there!_

_I sent them to face that sonvabitch alone!_

_Now Sammy's… oh god! He's so hurt!_

_How could I have been so damn stupid?! _

_If I had've been there, maybe… not maybe, definitely, my boys never would have gotten hurt!_

Riddled with guilt and heartache John releases the safety on the weapon, and presses the barrel of it against his temple.

_It's my fault Sammy, my baby boy is hurt so bad!_

_I can't lose anyone else, I just can't do it anymore!_

Just as John places his finger on the trigger, the sound of his cell phone breaks into his thoughts, causing him to pause.

_Should I?_

_The only call I want is one from Dean, but what if it is him, what if… Do I really want to know if my baby's gone?_

_I could always just ignore it, do this, and be with Mary again… and probably Sam too._

After another couple of seconds John flicks the safety back on, puts the Colt down beside him, and answers his phone.

"Hello?" _Damn, my voice sounds awful._

"John? That you?"

"Yeah Bobby, it's me." _He doesn't sound too upset, maybe… No, can't get my hopes up._

"Where are you John? You need to get back here."

_Again, not as upset as he'd probably be if Sam was gone. _"I'm at a motel, 'bout five hours away. What's… Is Sammy…?"

"He's still alive John, the docs can't explain it, but he's getting better, they think he's gonna pull through-"

_Oh, thank god._ "I'll be there as soon as I can." Without waiting for any response John ends the call, and hastily begins gathering his meagre possessions.

Within five minutes John is speeding out of town, back towards his boys, all thoughts of ending his life forgotten.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review!**

**Let me know what you wnat to see happen next, I try to work all suggestions into my stories.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Sorry this one's taken so long. I've been on holidays, and practically unable to update.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and ever one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Early the next morning Dean half falls out of bed, and stumbles over to the small table in the motel room he's sharing with Bobby. The various burned patches of his skin throbbing mercilessly, making him wish desperately that he'd bothered to fill any of the prescriptions given to him several day ago. When he finally reaches the table Bobby is already sitting down, he's gulping down something Dean assumes is coffee.

"Morning."

"Morning Dean." Bobby replies as he reaches into a small paper bag on the table, and fishes out a pill bottle. He then quickly shakes out a couple of pills, and hands them to Dean, who dry swallows them without hesitation. "Found the scripts in your car, figured you might want them."

Dean awkwardly pulls back a chair, and sits down opposite Bobby. "Thanks Bobby, I meant to get those filled, but…" The words - _I thought Sam was going to die, I wasn't going to leave him there alone._ – go unsaid, but both are thinking it.

"I get it Dean, last few days have been rough."

After making himself a mug of coffee, Dean sits back down, and they finish their breakfast in silence.

Just as Dean stands up to leave, Bobby tells him. "I called John, he's probably at the hospital by now." They both silently add 'unless he's left again'.

Anger at his father boils back up to the surface. "Why'd you call him?! After what he did, he has no right to be here!"

"Thought he ought to know… 'Sides if he's still there when we get there you'll have a chance to 'talk' to him."

"I guess. When are we going back?"

"Not until you've taken a shower, found some clean clothes, and changed all those dressings; you're supposed to do it every day, not every week, are you trying to get an infection?" Bobby asks sarcastically.

Grumbling, Dean stumbles over to his duffel bag, retrieving a change of clothes before going into the bathroom to shower.

* * *

Late the previous afternoon, John arrives at the hospital. He quickly makes his way upstairs to the Burn ICU where Casey comes over to him, recognising him from his previous brief visit.

"You're Sam's father… Mr Fredrickson, right?"

_I've told Dean that Sam sucks at choosing alias', but does he listen? _"That's me, you can call me John."

"John. I'm Casey, Sam's primary nurse. Do you want me to show you into his room?"

After hesitating slightly, debating if it's too late to just run in the opposite direction John replies. "Sure, thanks." _Otherwise I probably won't make it past the door._

John then follows Casey down the hallway, and into Sam's room, as it was before, the curtain is drawn. Casey turns to John, one hand on the curtain. "Are you ready?"

"Um…" John mumbles hesitantly.

Casey takes her hand away from the curtain, and steps closer to John. "Have you seen your son yet?"

"…Briefly."

"Has anyone taken the time to explain your son's condition to you?"

"Dean told me all Sammy's injuries, and that he wasn't sure he'd survive."

"How about treatment? Have you been told his treatment plan?" Casey enquires as she leads John over to a couple of chairs in the corner of the room.

"Nope… I left before I heard much." John admits guiltily.

"Okay. Sam is currently in an induced coma, but provided that he continues improving through the night, we'll start weaning him off the sedative tomorrow morning. Once Sam is conscious, and his doctors feel that he is strong enough they'll start preforming numerous skin grafts to cover the third degree burns. Then once the majority of the burned areas have healed he will start intensive physio, and be fitted for compression garments, which will help reduce the scarring."

"So, he will be good as new, right? I mean you're talking about all these treatments, surely those will make him be fine." John says, his voice shaking slightly, uncertainly.

_Oh boy, this guy has no idea what his kid's going to have to go through, just to be able to function._ "Mr Fredrickson-"

"John." John corrects, trying to avoid the hated alias.

"John, Sam has been severely injured, he's lucky to be alive; it'll practically be a miracle if he is able to move with the assistance, and he'll never look the same."

_No! God no! He has to be alright, me and Dean won't survive without him. Maybe I should just leave again, save myself this hurt… No, I can't, I have to be here, they'll need me, no they won't, Dean'll take care of Sam, as always, how badly have I screwed up if my own kids don't really need me?! _

"Are you alright John?" Casey's voice snaps John out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"You tuned out, are you alright?" Casey asks, concerned.

"'M fine, I was just… thinking."

"Okay, do you have any further questions? Or do you want to see Sam now?"

John scrubs his hand over his stubble coated chin, then replies. "I want to see Sam."

Casey stands up gracefully. "Alright, do you want me to stay?"

"Please." John says as he stands up, and subsequently follows Casey back over to the curtained area.

After John nods slightly to Casey, subtly asking her to draw back the curtain surrounding Sam's bed, she does so.

John repeats '_I can do this'_ over and over again in his head for almost a minute before finally looking up from his feet, to the bed holding his youngest son. "Shit… Sammy."

"He's doing a lot better, even if it doesn't look like it. And don't forget, once the doctors have done all the skin grafts he'll look much more like he was."

John moves slightly closer to the bed. "Can I… um, like hold his hand or something?"

"It's better if you only touch unbandaged areas." Casey says apologetically.

John looks up and down his son's injured body. "But… he's covered in bandages."

"It took even Dean a while to find somewhere… just under his left eye is probably the best."

John cautiously places his thumb on his youngest son's face, and even more gently still starts to rub small circles. He leans down, and whispers to Sam. "I'm so sorry Sammy. I'm never gonna leave you again, ever." Even more quietly still. "I love you son."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review!**

**Are you happy that John's come back? How will Dean react? Will Sam's recovery be smooth sailing from now on, or not?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Back at school now, so again, sorry for the delay.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

It is almost noon by the time Dean and Bobby arrive at the hospital, and make their way towards the burn ICU. As they are donning the protective clothing, Bobby knows he can't avoid telling Dean that he called John any longer. "Dean."

"Yeah, Bobby?"

_He's going to hate me, I know he didn't want John here, and I called him anyway. Might as well do this fast._ "Your Dad's here."

Dean whips around instantly, and shouts. "What?!"

_Yep, he hates me. _"I had to Dean. If it makes you feel any better, he knows he screwed up royally, and according to Casey, he's spent last night and all of this morning sitting beside Sam's bed… crying."

Dean looks at Bobby disbelievingly. "Dad crying, no way, you're lying."

Now both of them are finished getting ready, and Bobby silently leads Dean over to Sam's room. When they reach the doorway, Dean sees his father sitting beside Sam's bed, tear tracks staining his face. "Dad?"

Hearing his eldest son's voice, John turns around in his seat. "Dean… Listen, I'm-"

Dean steps forward, and interrupts his father. "Don't say it! If you even so much as think about saying you're sorry again, I swear I'll kick your ass."

John stands up, and closes the distance between them. "How dare you?! I'm your father, and you will not talk to me like that."

Dean snorts. "Father?! Don't call yourself that, you don't have the right! I raised Sam, and I've been here for him ever since he was admitted, where were you?!"

Practically feeling the waves of anger surging off of the pair, Bobby takes a step back, knowing better than to get in their way.

Knowing he can never tell Dean the complete truth about where he was, John stays silent.

When he doesn't answer, Dean yells. "Drinking or hunting?!" Still no reply. "Were you drinking, or were you hunting?!"

Still staying back, Bobby says. "Dean, son. Calm down or you're gonna get us all kicked out."

Dean turns to Bobby. "Stay the hell outta this!"

Trying a different approach, Bobby says. "What about Sam? You think if he can hear you, he wants to hear you screaming at your dad?"

Almost instantly, Dean deflates, he turns back to John. "Just tell me where you were? What was more important than being here?"

"I can't tell you, Dean. Trust me, you don't want to know." John almost begs, trying desperately to avoid telling Dean the truth.

Before Dean can say anything else, Casey hurries into the room, looking less than happy. She looks at all of them in turn, then says. "What's all the yelling about?! Have you completely forgotten where you are?"

Bobby answers. "We're sorry. Surely you understand that things are pretty tense right now, with everything." Bobby looks pointedly at John and Dean. "We'll try harder to keep it outta here."

Casey still looks unimpressed, but turns to leave anyway. "If I have to come in here again because you're screaming at each other, I won't hesitate to have you all thrown out, and barred from visiting. Understood?"

Again Bobby glares at John and Dean, and then still looking at them, he answers. "Yeah, Casey. It won't happen again."

"Okay. Just call if you need anything." Casey replies, and then walking out of the room.

Bobby closes the door behind her, and then turns back to John and Dean. "Dean, John is here now, and you two are going to get along, or you'll both be kicked out. John, same thing."

"Least 'til he finds another hunt." Dean mumbles under his breath, but still loudly enough for both men to hear him.

"What was that?!" John says, his voice rising again.

Bobby steps between the two, he's facing John. "Let it go. You can't expect that after your last appearance, Dean'll trust you to stick around." He turns around, now facing Dean. "And you Dean, give him a break, yeah he stuffed up, and yeah you don't trust him not to leave again, but there's too much going on right now for you two to be at each others throats." He takes a step back, and turns slightly, so that he is looking at both men. Now, how 'bout you both stop acting like children, and remember why you're here?"

With that statement, John and Dean both settle down quickly, and guiltily look down at their feet like children who've just been told off.

* * *

Several hours later, John and Bobby are at the motel, after having left Dean sitting with Sam. They've only been talking for a matter of minutes, and things are already getting tense. "You left, John. Sam could've died, he still might, you weren't here, and neither of us reckons you'll hang around for long."

"What?! You think I'm gonna leave again?!"

"Of course, merely looking at Sam had you running for the fucking hills, you're not going to stick around while Sam recovers.-"

"Wh-" John tries to interrupt, but Bobby just speaks over him.

"He's gonna be here for months, John! Not days, not weeks, but months. You haven't stayed anywhere that long, unless it's a hunt, and neither of us think you can start now."

"I'm here now, and I'm gonna stay until Sam's ready to get back on the road."

Bobby lets out an exasperated sigh. "You don't get it John! Sam almost died, his body is broken, he'll never be able to go back to hunting. And you're too damn obsessed to see that! Do you even care that your son almost got himself killed by killing the thing you've been obsessed with for years?! That he almost died, killing the demon?!"

"Of course I care! But there's still a whole lot more evil sons of bitches out there, and people are gonna die if we don't hunt them!"

"Your sons should be more important to you than anyone else! Why can't you see that? See how damn badly you've screwed up when your kids come second to strangers?!"

"Leave!" John screams at Bobby, pointing to the door.

"What?!"

"They're not your kids, they're mine, and I know what's best for them. So, leave!"

Bobby stands his ground. "No way, John! I'm not going anywhere, forget it." Bobby pauses for a moment, and then tries a different approach. "John, I'm just trying to look out for the boys, same as I know you are. They need us to focus on them, so can we just call a truce, for now?"

John bites back whatever he was about to say, and thinks for a moment before, instead answering. "Yeah, okay, truce. I reckon I might head out for a bit, clear my head, okay?"

They both know that, that means 'I'm going to go out, and get drunk', but Bobby still replies. "Sure, John. Have a good time."

John walks to the doorway, and then turns around. "Oh, and Bobby… I know you were just trying to do what's best for the boys, and I know that I screwed up pretty badly… I'll try harder."

* * *

Two days later, Dean is in a small conference room, with Dr Chan and Dr Lake. "Just tell me why he isn't awake yet."

"As I explained to you, Sam has been fully weaned off of the sedatives, and has no physical cause for his unconscious state. It's now a matter of waiting for Sam to be ready to wake up."

Having heard the same line for the past day, Dean isn't satisfied. "But, why isn't he _ready to wake up_?"

This time, Dr Lake answers. "Your brother suffered massive injuries, it truly is a miracle of modern medicine that he has survived; you understand that, don't you?"

Recognising the patronising tone, Dean sarcastically replies. "Actually I had no idea, just thought he was taking a nice long nap."

Dr Chan can't help but laugh slightly, whilst Dr Lake quickly hides his surprised look, this is the first time someone has actually called him out on his behaviour. "Sorry. As I was saying, Sam is lucky to be alive. His body has been through so much, and now it just needs to be given time to recover, heal."

Dean still isn't happy. "But how long will it be? You said a few days, that's today, nothing's changed."

"I said it would take a few days for the medications to be cleared, then it would be a matter of waiting." Dr Chan clarifies.

"But how long do you wait before someone usually wakes up after this?"

"There's no specific time frame, Dean. If there's no change in the next week, we would conduct some tests, but until then just be patient."

* * *

The meeting continues for another twenty minutes before Dean says. "Listen, I've gotta go. I've got an appointment at the burn clinic, get rid of these damn dressings."

"Okay, if you need anything else, just have one of us paged." Dr Lake offers as he stands up, and moves towards the door, Dean and Dr Chan following.

"Yeah, will do. And um, thanks for going through all this again, I just… he's my brother… you know?"

Both doctors nod in understanding, both having seen their share of worried relatives.

* * *

Several minutes later, Dean follows Dr Michaels into a consulting room. Liz turns around as they enter the room. "How've you been going Dean? Any problems?"

"…Not really, not with me at least." Dean offers vaguely, taking a seat on the examination bed.

Understanding immediately what he saying, Liz says. "How is Sam doing?"

"He still isn't awake, his docs' say that we've just gotta wait."

"Okay. So, you about ready to get rid of all these dressings?"

_Been ready since I got them._ "Yeah."

Without further pause, Liz carefully begins unravelling the numerous gauze bandages, exposing each of the newly healed burns. When she's done, Liz says. "All done. They're looking good, shouldn't be much scarring at all."

_I'm going to get out of this easily, while Sammy's gonna be hurting for a long time, and even then there's gonna be so many scars._ "Uh… good." Dean replies simply, his thoughts elsewhere.

"I'll refer you to one of the physical therapists here, and they'll give you exercises to restore full movement, and prevent the skin from contracting."

"Thanks doc." Dean says honestly as he gets down, and moves towards the door.

"No problem, Dean." Liz replies, then showing him out to the reception desk.

* * *

Early afternoon, the next day, Dean and John are sitting in tense silence beside Sam's bed, when Dean notices Sam's finger wrap loosely around his hand. He leans closer to Sam. "Sam? Sammy?"

John looks up from where he's flicking through a magazine in the corner. "What's going on, Dean?"

Dean doesn't even turn around as he answers. "I think he's starting to wake up."

Upon hearing that, John quickly stands up. "I'll go get someone."

"'Kay." Dean replies as John hurries out of the room.

A minute later, Dean is about to give up, and return to his seat, when a pair of glassy, but aware green eyes, look up at him. "Sammy?"

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! Let me know what you think.**

**And for those who haven't already, please check out the poll on my profile.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Previously: A minute later, Dean is about to give up, and return to his seat, when a pair of slightly glassy, but aware green eyes, look up at him. "Sammy?"

* * *

Dr Chan and several nurses rush forward towards Sam's bed, and push Dean and John back from the bed, into the hallway.

They both hover just outside the door, until Dr Chan waves them over a minute later. Needless to say they move quickly back over to the bed.

The bed is now slightly raised, and more significantly, the ventilator tube has been removed from Sam's throat, and he now has a nasal cannula to receive oxygen through instead. Dean reaches him first. "Hey Sammy."

Sam tries to lift his hand to touch Dean, but he barely twitches. "Dnn, wht 'pened?" Sam's voice comes out hoarse from disuse, and his words are slightly slurred.

"You don't remember?" Dean questions worriedly. _Oh Shit! Is his brain damaged?! What if he's different?_

Dr Chan quickly tells Dean and John. "He suffered mild head trauma, that combined with the prolonged coma, causes some confusion. There's no sign of neurological impairment."

Upon hearing this reassurance, Dean turns his attention back to Sam. "You're gonna be alright, Sammy. I'll explain everything later, okay?" _No way I can tell him what happened with all these people around._

"'Kay." Sam replies groggily, already half asleep again.

Dean stays at Sam's side until he falls asleep, Dr Chan then motions to him and John to follow him into the hallway. The fact that John follows him quickly, while Dean lingers hesitantly beside his brother's bed doesn't escape Dr Chan's notice.

* * *

Once they are all standing just outside the door, Dr Chan begins. "I just want to take a moment to talk with you both about Sam, and what to expect now, okay?"

Dean and John both nod in agreement.

"First off, I'm very pleased with Sam's recovery, and the fact that he has regained consciousness so soon is positive. Now…" Dr Chan turns more directly to Dean. "You did well not to explain to Sam what happened, so soon after he's regained consciousness. When he next wakes up, and is able to have a conversation, someone will need to explain to him what has happened, and all of that; would you prefer to talk to him yourself, or would you-"

_No way in hell is some damn stranger going to tell Sammy! No way, forget it! _Dean interrupts, not needing to hear any more. "I… I need to be the one who, you know… um, tells him everything." Though trying to be strong, the strain of the last week has gotten to him, and he ends up sounding very broken and defeated. Then, in a stronger voice, but still not as strong as he would like, Dean adds. "He can't hear about it from someone else, I have to do it."

Dr Chan nods knowingly, seeing the haunted, guilt stricken look in Dean's eyes, not for the first time. "Okay, and when you do talk to him, and of course you'll know best when is enough …try not to overload him with information, facts, details, just start off with an outline, and tell him more when he's stronger. And also, he'll probably want to know what's next-"

This time John interrupts. "What is next?"

After taking a moment to think, Dr Chan answers. "Within the next day or two, we'll take Sam to the OR, and start the skin grafts."

Again, John interrupts, having missed the first time Dr Chan explained this. "What do you mean? 'Start the skin grafts' why can't they be done in one operation?"

"As I explained to Dean before, there's too greater surface area to be covered in one surgery. We'll be taking skin from the undamaged areas, and placing it over the burns, and given the small area of undamaged skin, we'll need to wait for those areas to heal before we can do the next grafts. So for about the next two months, we'll be doing that; and also a physio therapist will start working with Sam once the first round of skin grafts has healed; they'll work on getting him mobile again." Dr Chan pauses to mentally check off everything he needed to say, then. "Do you have any questions?"

_I have a million questions, but I know you don't have any more answers to them than I do._ Dean thinks before replying. "No…" He can't help himself. "…Except, um, when will he be getting out of here?"

"If everything goes according to plan, he may be able to go home in between three and six months." Seeing the shocked look on Dean and John's face, he adds. "That includes time spend in our in patient rehab centre."

"Thanks doc." John says, shaking Dr Chan's hand as he does so. Dean stumbles away numbly, back towards Sam's room. "Sorry about him, doc. Dean's having a rough time with all this."

Dr Chan nods understandingly. "That's no problem, if I was in either of your shoes right now, I'd be upset too, anyone would be."

John steps towards Sam's room. "I'd better go back in there, again, thanks."

Also walking away; Dr Chan replies. "Sure, I'll talk to you later."

* * *

As Dean walks away from his father and Dr Chan, he struggles to suppress the feeling of terror building inside him. All he can think is _Three to six months! Three to six months of painful surgery and rehabilitation! Three to six months of being stuck here, oh damn, what if the cards don't hold out that long?! How the hell did we end up here?!?_

Once Dean reaches the chair by the bed, it's all he can do to collapse into it, as he starts to hyperventilate. _I can't do this! Sam shouldn't have to do this! If I had've just grabbed him in time…_

* * *

By the time John walks in a minute later, Dean is in a full blown state of panic. He rushes to his eldest son's side, and kneels beside him. "Dean? You alright? Talk to me, dude."

Dean continues to panic, black dots now disrupting his vision. "My fault…. Sammy…. Months."

Upon hearing these words, John finally figures out what's happening, and hastily grabs a paper bag he'd left on the table from when he'd bought a magazine, and he puts it over Dean's mouth and nose with one hand, while rubbing his back soothingly with the other. "It's alright, Dean. Just relax, everything's gonna be alright."

John continues these words, like a mantra for almost five minutes before Dean calms, and pushes away the bag. John then cups his weathered hand around Dean's face, and gently forces him to look at him. "Better?"

Nodding slightly in spite of John's hand, Dean replies. "Yeah, sorry don't know what-" Whatever Dean was about to say next is interrupted by John.

"Don't lie." He warns. "You think all this was your fault?"

"No." Dean replies, a little too quickly.

Sighing, John says. "Dean, how on earth could you have stopped this?"

"I shouldn't have let him go back in, if I had've been a second faster… If I hadn't let him go in there alone…" Dean says despondently, regretfully.

"Then you'd be in here too." John finishes Dean's sentence, most likely not how Dean would've.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! Let me know what you think.**

**For those who haven't already, please check out the poll on my profile. And thanks to all those who already have, you rule!**


	12. Author's Note Please Read

**Author's Note**

It always drives me crazy when I get these instead of chapters, and I swore I'd never write one, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Sorry about the delay, major writer's block on this fic! Otherwise I wouldn't be doing this.

Not sure where to go from here, so please help, and then I should hopefully have the next chapter up soon.

I'm thinking about building the plot a bit by giving Dean an OFC now Sam's getting better, what do you think?

And if you have any other ideas for this fic, please share. I need help!

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I'll try to write the chapter within this week, but I really do need help to do so.

BTW: How awesome was this week's episode "Heaven and Hell". It rocked! Seriously, if you haven't seen it, look it up on youtube. (Right after reviewing of course)


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. **

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Half an hour later, John and Dean are still sitting beside Sam's bed, Sam is sleeping soundly. Dean is dozing slightly, when John shakes him gently. "Come on Dude, let's get you back to the motel."

Dean wakes up, and groggily looks up at John. "Wha'?"

"I'm taking you back to the motel, you need sleep." John tells his eldest son slowly and clearly.

Dean makes no effort to move. "I'm not leaving Sam." He tells John stubbornly.

John sighs. "Dean, you have to rest. You're no good to Sam if you make yourself sick."

Dean still makes no effort to move.

"Dean, come on." John says more authoritatively, getting annoyed at his son's attitude, while at the same time, proud that he looks out for his younger brother so much.

"No Dad, I need to be here when Sam wakes up. I need to tell him what happened, he shouldn't have to hear it from a stranger, Dad." Dean replies adamantly, still firmly seated.

Knowing that this is one fight he won't win, John gives up. "Okay then, I'll see you later. Do you need anything?"

Dean thinks for a moment. "No, I'm good. See you later."

John then walks away, leaving Dean sitting alone at Sam's side.

* * *

A while later, Dean is still sitting beside Sam's bed, thinking out aloud to himself, going over how he is going to tell Sam what happened to him. "Maybe is should just spit it out, then deal with the fallout." Is his first plan, but he quickly discards that. "No, no I can't do that. This is going to crush him, I have to say it just right. But there's going to be fallout anyway." Dean rationalizes. He then sighs in frustration. "How the hell am I supposed to tell Sammy this?! He was practically burned to a crisp because he was so fucking obsessed with killing that damn demon!" Upon saying his last thought, Dean hears something, and then-

"De …what're you saying?" Sam questions, still half asleep.

"Sam, you're awake? How long have you been-" Dean says in a surprised tone.

Sam interrupts Dean, fighting not to start hyperventilating. "Long… enough."

Dean runs his hand through his hair. "Shit, Sammy. I'm sorry, I… you weren't meant to find out like this. The docs say that with treatment you'll be good as new." Dean stammers, horrified.

Upon hearing this confirmation, Sam panics. The monitors start screeching as his heart rate soars, Sam taking shallower and shallower breaths until he is hyperventilating.

Dean jumps up, and moves closer to Sam. "Calm down, Sam. Sammy, please calm down."

At this moment, Casey and several other nurses run into the room. "Dean, step back." Casey tells Dean as she steps up to the bed. "Did anything happen?"

Dean moves back, but only slightly. "I screwed up. I told him what happened to him. He panicked."

Casey grabs Sam's chart, then turns to one of the other nurses. "Dr Chan has written an order for five milligrams of diazepam, get it." While the other nurse gathers the sedative, Casey grabs an oxygen mask from the wall behind the bed, and places it over Sam's face. "Sam, just breathe. Deep breaths." She looks briefly at Dean. "Come over here, talk to him."

Dean doesn't need to be told twice, within a second he reaches Sam's side. "Sammy, calm down man. I'm going to make this better Sam, please just breathe." Dean continue his stream of reasurring words as he watches a nurse push a needle into Sam's central line, and then watches Sam rapidly lose his fight with consciousness.

* * *

A few minutes later, once Sam is settled. Casey motions to Dean to follow her into the hallway. When they are outside the room, Casey asks. "What exactly happened in there Dean?"

"I screwed up." Dean tells her simply.

Casey gives Dean a look that clearly says 'elaborate'.

"Sam was sleeping, I thought Sam was sleeping. I was trying to work out how to tell him. How could I have been so fucking stupid?!" Dean yells, furious at himself.

Casey takes his anger in her stride. "This is not your fault Dean. Even if he hadn't heard it now, he would've been upset whenever he found out."

Dean is now pacing angrily. _It's already my fault he got hurt, and now he's had to be sedated because I screwed up! AGAIN!_

Still undeterred, Casey tries a different approach. "Dean, stop." Surprisingly that does the trick. "Now, you were trying to make things easier on Sam, and yes, it didn't work out well, but you are trying, and that is a lot more than I see most of the time. Stop blaming yourself over everything, it isn't your fault. Now, say it _this is not your fault._"

Dean shakes his head. "No, I can't."

"Yes, you can, say it." Casey says firmly.

Finally Dean gives up. "Fine, I'll say it. This is not my fault." But his voice is lacking any evidence that he believes what he is saying at all.

Casey doesn't accept that. "Dean." She prompts gently, but firmly.

Dean hesitates for a moment, then in an unusually shaky voice, he says. "This is not my fault." Gaining strength, and starting to believe his own words, he repeats, in a stronger voice this time. "This is not my fault."

Casey looks at Dean with satisfaction. "Good. Now, Sam has a long recovery ahead of him, and things are going to be rough for awhile, but whenever you start feeling guilty, or angry, just remember those words. Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Casey." Dean says, feeling, much to his surprise, better.

"Okay then, you should get back in there. He should wake up in the next hour or two. He's going to need you." Casey says with finality as she turns away to go attend to another patient.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Sorry if the end of the chapter came out as kinda weak and ooc, but someone had to talk some sense into Dean.**

**Please review! Let me know what you think.**

**For those who haven't already, please check out the poll on my profile. And thanks to all those who already have, you rule!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters. But christmas is almost here, so maybe? Who am I kidding? Kripke will never give them away, I sure wouldn't.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Two long hours later, Sam wakes up again. Upon seeing that Sam is awake, Dean gets Casey to page Dr Chan, who comes in immediately.

Sam looks at Dean uncertainly when Dr Chan enters the room. Dean tells him. "Sammy. This is Dr Chan, he's been treating you."

Dr Chan moves closer to the bed, and speaks to Sam. "Good to finally see you awake." He sits down in a chair. "Now that you are awake, we need to discuss your treatment plan, okay?"

Sam nods softly, careful not to move too much. "'Kay."

Dr Chan then gets straight into telling Sam about his plans to treat him. "Now you're awake, and stable, we're going to start preforming skin grafts to cover your burns."

Sam interrupts. "When?"

"You mean, when are we starting the surgeries?"

Sam nods in confirmation.

"Okay. The first surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning, and barring any complications, we'll keep taking you back in every two or three days until all the burns are covered. And as soon as the first round of grafts has healed, a physiotherapist will start working with you to help you regain movement."

"Am I going to?" Sam enquires.

"Going to what?" Dr Chan asks, unsure of what he means.

"Regain movement."

Dr Chan makes sure he looks Sam in the eye as he says. "If you follow the physio's instructions, and don't have any major complications, you stand a decent chance of regaining movement. But, in cases like your's there is always a chance that you won't be able to recover fully."

Sam is clearly upset by this information, but hides it fairly well, only Dean notices.

Dr Chan continues. "If you are going to recover, it will be in the next two years, after that the scar tissue will either be minimal and allow full movement, or it will be thicker and possibly contract to the point where you will be unable to move." Seeing Dean's expression, which clearly says 'Back off, now!' Dr Chan changes his tone. "But that's the worst case scenario, so how about for now, we focus on achieving the best possible result. Okay?"

Forcing himself to be upbeat, Dean replies. "Sounds good doc."

"Well then, I need to go attend to another patient. I'll see you tomorrow morning, Sam." Dr Chan says before quickly walking out of the room, he can't help but feel intimidated by Dean.

* * *

The next morning, two orderlies arrive in Sam's room as Dean, John and Bobby are talking to Sam. Dean notices them, and motions for them to wait a minute.

"Time's up Sammy." He announces, then in a tone they all know to be absolutely serious, Dean tells Sam. "You are going to be alright. I'm gonna be waiting right here for you, okay?"

Sam nods weakly, and says. "Yeah. See you soon Dean. But in case I don't-"

Dean knows where this is going, and interrupts before it can go any further. "No way, don't start talking like that Sammy. I will see you in a few hours."

John and Bobby then take their turns to speak to Sam before he is wheeled away.

* * *

An hour later, Dean, John, and Bobby are sitting around a table in the cafeteria, having breakfast while they wait.

Dean barely touches his food, he just pushes it around his plate.

Picking up on his son's nervousness, John says. "Sam's going to be alright, Dean."

His attempt at calming Dean only gets him more agitated. "Why can't we just get a break for once? Maybe, just go a few weeks without some sonvabitch screwing with us?"

Neither of them have an answer for that one, so they go back to eating in silence, leaving Dean to his thoughts.

* * *

Sam's surgery goes without a problem, and a week later, a very attractive, well built woman comes into Sam's room. She goes over to the bed, and greets Sam. "Hi, I'm Crystal Tallow, from physiotherapy. I'll be working with you to help get you up and about again."

"Hi." Sam says unenthusiastically, there have been so many people coming and going that he really can't be bothered to be polite any more.

Dean stands up, and shakes Crystal's extended hand. "Hey, I'm Dean. Sam's brother. Look forward to working with you." He says, not being very subtle.

Crystal smiles shyly, and then turns her attention back to Sam. "Okay, we're going to start off really easy, Sam…" And so begins Sam's first physio session.

* * *

Sam continues to slowly recover over the next month, getting used to the routine of - have surgery, rest for a day, have as much physio as possible without damaging the grafts over the next few days, watch his brother flirt shamelessly with his therapist the entire time, and have another surgery. The day after he has what they all hope will be the last graft, John announces to Sam and Dean. "I've found a hunt up in Montana. Several campers have gone missing, turned up, torn to shreds. Dean, you and me are leaving tonight."

Dean looks at his father incredulously. "What?!"

"There are people getting killed, we are leaving tonight." John says, as though he has no reason to think twice.

Sam speaks up, not wanting Dean and their father to get in a fight. "It's okay Dean. You can go, I'll be fine here."

Shockingly, this idea doesn't appeal to Dean. "You've both lost your freakin' minds if you think I'm going anywhere while Sam's stuck in this bed!"

John shoots Dean a stern look. "Be quiet Dean, or we'll get kicked out." That works. John then says firmly, actually he orders. "Now, go back to the motel, pack your gear, and be ready to leave when I am."

Dean stays firmly seated. "Forget it Dad. I'm not leaving, and I can't believe that you'd think of going either. Actually, I can, because you've already fucking done it!" Dean yells angrily, not noticing Sam's shocked expression.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Will Dean be able to talk some sense into John, or will he leave, again? Can't you just feel the angst? **

**And for those who haven't already, please check out the poll on my profile. Thanks to all those who already have, you rule!**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"What are you talking about, Dean? Dad's been here the whole time." Sam questions both of them, wondering what he missed.

Dean could have kicked himself, how could he let that slip, Sam didn't need to know. He looks over at Sam, and says. "It's nothing, Sam. Don't worry about it."

Big surprise, Sam doesn't buy it for a moment; he angrily replies. "Don't lie to me, Dean. I'm not a kid anymore!"

"You don't need to know, Sam. Let it go." Dean tells his brother, not noticing as his father slips out of the room.

"Tell me." Sam insists, he doesn't see John leave either.

Dean can see that Sam's getting really worked up now, and so, not wanting Sam to hurt himself, Dean says. "Fine." He turns around to tell John to tell Sam himself, but much to his surprise, John's gone. "Sonvabitch!" Dean shouts furiously, how could his father do this, again?!

Then, without saying a word to Sam, Dean runs out of the room, towards the elevators. _He must've only just left, maybe I can catch him._

* * *

Dean catches up to John in the car park, just as John is getting into his truck. Dean grabs his father by his jacket, and pulls him out of the truck. "What the hell are you fucking doing, Dad?!"

John stops himself from falling, and then turns to his eldest son. "There are people getting hurt, I'm going, alone seeing as you have taken to ignoring me!"

_Why do I even bother?!_ Dean thinks, before telling John. "Fine, if you want to go, go. But don't expect us to welcome you back." He then walks back towards the hospital, giving his father the chance to follow, he doesn't take it.

* * *

John gets back to the motel about twenty minutes later. Dean had called Bobby to give him the heads up, so Bobby is sitting waiting for John.

So when John enters the room, Bobby is right there. "You've got to be joking, John."

"What?" John asks distractedly as he grabs his duffle bag, and starts packing.

Bobby grabs the bag away from John. "You can't leave. Those boys need you."

Saying nothing, John, as quickly as Bobby took the bag, takes it back, and resumes his hasty packing.

* * *

Barely a minute later, John is finished packing, and as he goes towards the doorway, Bobby steps into his way. "They're never going to forgive you for this, John. None of us will." He needs to try, for everyone's sake.

Doing his best to believe otherwise, John says. "I have to go, the boys will be fine." And without another word, John shoves Bobby out of his way, and ignores as Bobby yells a few choice words at his retreating back.

He's going to Montana, and he's going to kill whatever evil sonvabitch is out in the national park.

* * *

Not letting John's absence affect Sam's recovery, Dean insists that they continue on as planned, and Crystal comes to see them as scheduled to fit Sam for compression garments, and a variety of splints, a week later. Sam is now out of the ICU, and into the burn rehabilitation centre. The grafts have all mostly healed, so he is no longer at risk of infection, much to his, and Dean's relief.

When Crystal enters the room, she sits down on the side of the bed, and warmly smiles as she greets Sam. "Hey Sam, how're you feeling?" And then she winks at Dean.

"Bit tired." Sam replies, forcing himself to ignore the budding relationship between his brother, and his therapist.

Pleasantries aside, Crystal says to Sam. "So today, we're going to fit you for compression garments, that will end up covering almost your whole body. And then I'll also be working out which splints you'll need. Okay?"

"Sounds like fun." Sam replies sarcastically, but with no real annoyance in his voice.

Crystal wastes no more time, and quickly sets to work.

* * *

That afternoon, when Dean comes back from getting lunch, he notices that Sam is looking …well he can't really describe it, but it's clear to Dean that Sam needs to get out of this room.

"Hey Sammy." Dean greets his brother as he grabs a wheelchair from by the door, and pushes it over to Sam.

Looking at the wheelchair, intrigued, Sam says. "What's going on, Dean?"

Dean shrugs as he replies. "Thought you might like to go outside for a while."

Sam has to force himself not to attempt to jump out of the bed right then and there. "Um, okay."

Then, without any fuss or comment, Dean helps Sam into the wheelchair, and pushes it out of the room.

* * *

About ten minutes later, Dean is sitting on a park bench in the hospital grounds, with Sam sitting in the wheelchair beside him. Dean is caught completely by surprise when Sam asks. "What happened while I was out, Dean?" He knows that Dean won't want to answer, but he needs to know.

After hesitating for a moment, Dean responds. "It was bad. Meg got Dad, you nearly died. That's all you need to know."

Not surprisingly, Sam isn't satisfied. "You got hurt too, Dean. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Dean replies, and then seeing the look Sam gives him, Dean adds. "My hands, face, and neck got burned, they've mostly healed. Don't worry about it."

Now set on gathering whatever information he can to fill in the blanks, Sam says. "I remember you finding me. How did we get out of there alive?"

Dean isn't really sure how to say it, so he just blurts it out. "I found you outside, on the grass. You'd been knocked out the window by an explosion, that's how you got all the other injuries. I shouldn't have let you go back inside, I'm so sorry, Sammy."

Sam doesn't need to use words as, despite his burns, and subsequent loss of motion, he reaches over, and squeezes Dean's hand. "Thank you Dean ...for saving me."

**

* * *

****TBC****...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please take a moment to leave me a review.**

****

**And please check out the poll on my profile page, I've added some new options!**


	16. Author's Note Sorry

**Author's Note**

Sorry to do this to you all, my wonderful loyal readers, but I've completely lost my inspiration for this fic. So I am putting it on hold until my muse decides to come back from it's little vacation, I'd rather do this than rush the ending of this fic, and have it be absolute crap.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, hopefully I will return to writing this soon. In the mean time, I will continue to update my other fics, so be sure to check those out.

xx DarkandtwistyGirl xx


	17. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Hey,**

**So my muse has very kindly decided to come back from it's vacation, and that's great because it means that I could finally write another chapter of this fic! **

**Hope there's still people reading this, and if there are, that they like it.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Once Sam is asleep that night, Dean goes out in search out Crystal. As he was sitting, talking to Sam earlier he realised that he can't get into a relationship right now; he needs to focus on Sam, and making sure that he recovers.

* * *

Dean finds Crystal in her shared office, she is working late, trying to finish up some paperwork. "Hey, Crystal. I didn't think you'd still be here." Dean says casually, even though he had already figured out that she was the kind of person that's very committed to looking after her patients, and getting everything done.

Crystal motions towards a seat in the office as she says. "Come in. I was just finishing up for the night."

Dean sits down opposite her before he says. "I need to… I like you, but… We can't be together."

Crystal looks up from her work with surprise clear in her eyes. "Why?"

"I just really need to put my time into looking after Sam, I thought we could be together, but it's not going to work." Dean says regretfully, he really does like her.

Crystal nods understandingly, and then she says. "It's okay, I understand. You have to put Sam first, but I hope we can still be friends. I want to keep working with Sam, and just be there to help you, both of you, if you'll let me."

"That'd be good." Dean agrees, he then says. "I'd better get back to Sam. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll be in at ten." Crystal says to Dean.

Dean then stands up, and walks casually out of the office, only revealing his true feelings when he briefly glances back at her.

* * *

Several days later, Sam is down in the physical therapy room, Crystal is showing him how to use crutches to support himself due to his recently fractured legs and pelvis, and consequent weakness.

"Easy, Sam. You need to be careful or you're going to hurt yourself." Crystal cautions Sam when she sees that he's already tiring. "Maybe we should finish here for today?"

"No." Sam grinds out through clenched teeth. Every inch of him is crying out in protest, but he refuses to stop.

Crystal sighs, she knows that he really should go back to bed, but she reluctantly allows him to continue for close to another hour.

* * *

A couple of months later, Sam is still in hospital, and Dean is struggling to pay for his care. He has cut down to the bare essentials, but that still isn't enough, he has to get a job.

It isn't as easy as he had thought for him to find work, he didn't take into consideration that he had no formal qualifications when he started looking; he ends up at a small garage, working full-time as a mechanic. It's hardly ideal, and leaves him almost no time for Sam, but he doesn't have a choice.

* * *

Less than a week later, Crystal is helping Sam with his daily exercises in the physical therapy room. He has almost mastered using the crutches, but the tightness in some of the burned areas makes it hard for him to steady himself.

Sam stumbles slightly, and if it wasn't for Crystal, and the other therapist helping them, he would've fallen.

"That's it, Sam. Enough is enough, I'm taking you back to your room." Crystal says firmly as she pulls a wheelchair closer for Sam to get back into.

But Sam just pulls himself away from the other therapist, and starts to walk away.

"What're you doing, Sam? You need to rest." Crystal calls out, hurrying after him.

Sam turns back to face her, but in the motion, he loses his balance, and with no one to catch him, he crashes to the ground.

Crystal and a number of other staff members run over to him, and Crystal kneels down beside him, ignoring the stream of expletives as she asks. "Sam. Are you alright?"

Sam rolls himself so that he faces towards her, and answers. "I hit my head, I really fuckin' hurts!" Grabbing his temple, further making his point.

Crystal pushes back his hair, and sees a dark bruise already forming. She calls for some of the other staff to get a gurney to take him back to his room, and to page his doctor, before she tells Sam. "We need to get you onto a gurney so I can get you back to your room, okay?"

Sam nods, only to grimace, and curl into an almost foetal position.

Within a minute Crystal is manoeuvring the gurney out of the room, and towards the elevators.

* * *

As soon as Dr Chan sets eyes on Sam, he orders an MRI, which shows them that Sam has refractured the weakened part of his skull, and this time it's caused a small bleed within his brain. Surgery isn't needed, but he'll need to be kept in bed, closely monitored for several days at least.

* * *

Dean doesn't get there until that evening, his boss wouldn't let him leave early. When he enters Sam's room, he sees Crystal sitting with Sam, keeping a constant eye on him and the various monitors that weren't there when he visited in the morning.

"What the hell happened, Cryss?" Dean demands as he moves to his brother's side.

Crystal looks up at Dean, and apologetically says. "I let him push himself too hard, he fell, and reinjured his head. But barring complications, he should be back on track in a week."

"You're blaming Sam for this?! You're his therapist, you should have stopped him long before this could happen!" Dean shouts furiously at her before demanding. "Get out of here, now!"

Without comment, Crystal stands up, and walks towards the doorway. Only when she is at the doorway does she say. "I'm sorry, Dean. It was a mistake." Before walking away quickly, tears in her eyes.

* * *

**TBC****...**

**Thanks for reading! I really hope it wasn't too bad.**

**Please take a moment to let me know what you thought.**


	18. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Hey,**

**So sorry for the massive delay! There really was no way I could've posted this any faster.**

**Hope there's still people reading this, and if there are, that they like it.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

When Sam awakens early the next morning, the first words out of his mouth are. "Argh… I'm such an idiot."

Dean does a double take. _What the hell is he talking about?! It was Crystal's fault. _"What?!" He says questioningly, moving closer to Sam, from his seat in the far corner of the room.

Sam pauses for a moment, putting a hand to his throbbing, bandaged head, and then he says. "I should've listened to her, I should've stopped when she told me to."

Realisation strikes Dean, and he guiltily thinks. _Shit! Why'd I jump straight to that conclusion?!_

"You okay, Dean?" Sam asks worriedly, when Dean doesn't reply.

Dean is startled from his thoughts by Sam's voice. "Damn it, Sammy! Damn it, I screwed up."

"How?" Sam asks with concern, so used to pain by now that it isn't fazing him.

Dean slams his fist into a wall, and then as he shakes it in pain, he says. "I went off at Cryss. I got it all wrong."

"I'm glad you realise that." A third voice comments.

Dean turns around on his heels, immediately recognising the voice. "Cryss. How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." She replies simply, before adding. "You're forgiven, by the way."

* * *

The next week, unbeknown to Sam, Dean packs up all their gear from the motel, and checks out.

The bills for Sam's care are piling up, and even with his job, he can't pay them.

_It'll be one less expense if I'm just sleeping in the impala._

Dean thinks as he tosses their bags into the trunk, and drives over to the hospital.

* * *

Things go relatively smoothly for the next three months, until Sam and Dean get the news… Sam is ready to go home.

Despite his joy that his brother, who no one else thought would survive, is going home, Dean thinks. _What the hell are we going to do now?! Sam can't sleep in the car, but there's still so many bills, and he'll still need care, so it's not like we can just skip town. There're still so many bills._

And although he doesn't know why, Sam can tell that something is worrying his older brother at a time when they should be overjoyed.

Later that day, Dean is wandering around the burn unit, waiting for Sam's doctor, so that he can ask him some questions, when Crystal taps him on the shoulder.

He turns around as she greets him. "Hey, Dean. Great news about Sam." A normal enough greeting, but then out of the blue, she says. "Come live with me, you and Sam."

Dean doesn't know what to say, he just stands there, slack jawed.

"Dean? What? Did you think that you sleeping in that car of yours in the hospital lot would go unnoticed?" Crystal says jovially, then seeing Dean's expression, she asks in a more sombre tone. "Is everything alright?"

"We're fine." Dean answers a little too quickly.

"Dean." Crystal pushes him gently, taking hold of his hand in a comforting way.

"…" Dean hesitates, but after a minute he admits. "We're broke. I'm working full time, and I've cut down on everything I can, but… the bills just keep coming. They never fucking stop." He says, sighing defeatedly.

Crystal silently moves close to Dean, and embraces him comfortingly.

After a minute they pull apart, and Crystal reassuringly tells him. "Come stay with me, I'll do my best to help you and Sam." She pauses, reluctant to push him any further, but knowing that it's for the best. "You're kidding yourself if you think that you can handle taking care of Sam, pay for everything he needs, be there for him, and keep working. I want to be there for you."

Dean hesitates, thinking. _I know, but you don't know anything about our lives, and you shouldn't get involved._ "I don't think it'll-" He begins, only to be interrupted.

"It will work. It will be good, for both of you." Crystal tells him; she doesn't need to hear anymore of his baseless excuses.

* * *

Several days later, Sam and Dean have moved into Crystal's modest house, and are settling in well, when just as Crystal and Sam get back from the hospital, early in the afternoon, Sam answers his cell phone. "Hello."

"Sammy?" John's voice comes over the line; he is clearly expecting someone else.

"Dad. Where are you? Are you alright?" Sam questions his father quickly.

"I'm in Wyoming, working a job. Are you alright? I thought-" John begins before Sam cuts him off.

"I'm doing well. I've been out of the hospital for a few days. We're still in Iowa City."

Sam can hear John sigh with relief, and for a brief second he thinks that it may be because John cares, but then. "Good, 'cause I need a hand with this job. How soon can you boys be here?"

"Goodbye, Dad." Sam says simply before snapping his cell phone closed, effectively ending the call.

A moment later, Crystal walks into the room, and with concern, she asks Sam. "Are you alright, Sam?"

"I'm fine, Dad just called." Sam tells her in a way that instantly tells her something is wrong.

"What did he say?" Crystal enquires gently. She has only met John a couple of times, and all she knows is that he couldn't handle being here for her sons, so he left; that made him a complete jerk in her books.

Sam hesitates, not wanting to accidentally give too much away. But within a moment he decides to say. "He just doesn't get that I still have a long way to go. He wants me and Dean to meet up with him, start travelling again." _Not a complete lie, just what needs to be done to keep her safe._

"Oh, Sam." Crystal says sympathetically as she sits down beside him, and embraces him warmly.

* * *

When Dean gets home it is close to midnight, and it is all he can do to crawl into bed.

_Why'd I agree to go out for drinks?_

_I'm so damn tired!_

As if on cue, Dean breaks into a coughing fit, and as soon as it subsides, all he can think is _Shit! I can't get sick now! There's too much going on, Sam needs me to help him with everything. I can't be getting sick!_

After another coughing fit, more painful than the last, Dean wearily thinks. _I'm sick._

* * *

Six days later, it is Saturday morning, and Crystal has gone into work, Sam is sitting in the lounge room, reading, and Dean is yet to get out of bed. Sam barely gives that a second thought, Dean has been running himself down lately, and until he glances up at the clock, and sees that it's almost one in the afternoon.

"Dean?" Sam calls out, trying not to worry, but when there's no reply, Sam struggles to his feet, and quickly goes into Dean's room.

To say that when Sam sees his older brother he is shocked would be an epic understatement.

Dean is curled up on the bed, coughing, wheezing, and shivering violently.

"Dean?!" Sam exclaims as he moves to Dean's side, and feels his forehead, checking for a fever.

Dean moans, and weakly looks up at Sam with glassy eyes; he is clearly out of it from a raging fever.

"Oh shit!" Sam says before grabbing the phone off the bedside table.

* * *

**TBC****...**

**Evil cliffie, I know!**

**Thanks for reading! Hope it was worth the wait.**

**Please take a moment to let me know what you thought.**


	19. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews! It's so great to know people are still enjoying this fic!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Sam, in his panic drops the phone, and as he fumbles to pick it back up, he curses the weakness, and lack of coordination in his hands.

Eventually, after several painstakingly slow seconds Sam picks up the phone, and clumsily dials Crystal's cell phone number.

"Pick up… pick up… please pick up." Sam murmurs as he listens to the phone ring, never taking his eyes off Dean's trembling body.

"Crystal Tallow." Crystal finally answers her phone after what feels like an eternity to Sam; he has never been so happy to hear her voice.

"Deanisunconsciousijustfoundhimandheisreallysick." Sam blurts out incomprehensibly.

After a moment's pause, Crystal says. "Slow down, Sam. What's wrong with Dean?"

Sam takes a breath, and then tells Crystal. "Dean's unconscious. He's running a fever, and his breathing isn't good."

"Oh." Crystal says weakly, she then more firmly says. "I'll be home in a few minutes. Just try to cool him down, make sure his airway's clear. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you soon." Sam says before hanging up the phone, and turning his attention back to Dean. As Sam peels Dean's sweat soaked clothing away, he soothingly whispers to Dean, whatever he can think of, hoping that some of it will break through into Dean's delirious state.

* * *

Within five minutes of Crystal arriving home, she gets Sam to help her carry Dean out to the car, and support him in the backseat as she rushes him to the hospital.

* * *

When they reach the hospital, Crystal rushes Dean back into a treatment room, leaving Sam in the crowded waiting area, much to his frustration. _I should be the one taking care of Dean, he's done so much for me lately, and I could barely even call for help when he needed it._

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Crystal comes into the waiting area, and quickly goes over to Sam. She kneels down in front of him, and tells him. "They're going to admit Dean."

"What's wrong?" Sam asks her worriedly.

Crystal sighs as she says. "He has pneumonia. Probably had a cold, and he didn't think to take it easy for a while. They're going to give him antibiotics, and hopefully he should be better in a few days."

"…Can I see him?" Sam asks after a moment's pause.

"Sure. Come on." Crystal says as she offers Sam a helping hand out of the chair.

Sam accepts her help. They then walk out of the room, and Crystal leads Sam up to where Dean is lying in a hospital bed, as white as the sheets he's lying on.

"He'll probably still be out of it for a few hours, but you can sit with him." Crystal says gently as she pulls two chairs over to the bedside, and sits in the further away one.

Sam sits next to her, close enough to Dean to hold his hand. He tries to think of something to say, but nothing comes close to describing how he's feeling, the shock, the hurt that Dean didn't tell him that he wasn't well, the knowledge that if it wasn't for him, Dean wouldn't have had to work so hard.

* * *

A couple of days later, Dean is wandering around the ward when he overhears snippets of a couple of the nurses' conversation. "…police… fraud… seemed so nice… can't believe Crystal's involved with them…"

"Damn it." Dean swears under his breath. He instantly knows that they've been figured out, and he needs to get out of here, and take Sam out of town before the police turn up.

Without pause, Dean turns around, and goes back to his room, where he quickly dials Crystal's number. She answers after several rings. "Hello."

"Cryss, it's Dean. I need your help."

"Um, okay. What's going on?" Crystal asks, sounding perplexed.

Dean sighs, and begins gathering his meagre possessions from around the room as he tells her. "I can't explain it right now, but I need you to pack up all of mine and Sam's gear, put it in the impala, and come pick me up. Sam has a set of keys."

There is a noticeable pause before Crystal replies. "Okay. But what's going on? You can't be ready for discharge yet."

"I can't explain it, Cryss. But please just do this for us." Dean pleads, keeping an ear out for any sign of trouble.

"Okay. I'll be there soon, should I come up to your room?"

Dean thinks for a moment, as much as he would like to meet her outside, and get out of town as fast as possible, he knows that both him and Sam are going to need supplies, so he says. "I know this is a stretch, but can you _acquire_ all the meds that me and Sam need? …Most of the nurses are doing handover right now, it shouldn't be hard."

"…" There is a silence on the other end of the phone, and for a moment Dean thinks that Crystal must've hung up on him, but then. "Okay, but you'd explain all this when I get there."

"Sure. I'll meet you in my room in a few minutes." Dean says, and as an afterthought he adds. "Thanks." Before ending the call.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Sam, Dean, and Crystal are in the impala, heading towards Crystal's house, with Dean driving at a speed that is far from legal when Crystal finally asks. "So, what is going on? Who are you two? And why doesn't this seem new to you?"

Dean glances at Sam in the rear view mirror before he tells Crystal. "We're dropping you back at your place, and then we're leaving town. We aren't exactly …who you think we are, and we haven't stayed in one place this long since we were kids. And as always, we have to go now 'cause some genius has worked out that we were using an _alternative_ way of paying for everything."

Crystal looks at Dean with a confused expression, and asks. "Alternative?"

Dean knows that she isn't stupid, and knows exactly what he means, but he still elaborates. "Credit card fraud. Insurance fraud. Whatever works. Our job doesn't pay that well, and we had to learn how to get by. And I know your probably freaking out about now, but don't; we're going to drop you back at your place, and you can go back to your life."

What Crystal says next comes as a complete surprise to Dean and Sam. "No. I'm coming with you."

Dean slams on the brakes, and pulls over to the side of the road. Once the car's stopped, he turns to face Crystal, and tells her. "You can't come with us. It's dangerous, you have a life here, just go back to it, and forget you ever met us."

"No, Dean." Crystal says firmly. "Neither of you are well, there's no way you can get very far, and Sam is still doing PT, and…" She trails off, but after a moment she says. "I'm coming with you."

_It is probably the best thing for Sam. And we got her to steal from the hospital, when they figure it out she's going to be in deep trouble._ Dean thinks, considering her statement, he then decides. "Fine."

Crystal wonders just what she's gotten herself in for as Dean starts the car back up, and takes off towards the highway.

* * *

**TBC****...**

**Thanks for reading! Hope it was alright.**

**Please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, and what you think should happen next.**


	20. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews! It's so great to know people are still enjoying this fic!**

**BTW: Supernatural is still not back on in Australia, and it's driving me mad! Why can't they just put it on?! Would it be so hard?**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

As they drive along the highway, with Crystal resting in the back, Sam asks Dean. "Where are we even going to go? I mean, I can barely walk, and you should still be in a hospital. And we've dragged Crystal along for the ride."

Dean doesn't reply for a moment, thinking before he tells Sam. "I don't know, I was thinking we could head up to Pastor Jim's old place, last time I heard it was still empty."

"Okay, but we'd better have a cover; people are going to notice that we're there." Sam says, thinking logically.

Dean thinks for a moment before he offers. "One of us could pose as a preacher, we spent enough time sitting in on Jim's services that we should've picked something up, and the other two are just friends of the preacher. No one would question it."

"Could work." Sam agrees, before saying. "I'll make some calls when we stop, get some new ids." He then pauses, finally noticing how tired Dean is, he's in no condition to be driving. "And speaking of stopping, pull over, you need a break, I can drive for a while."

Dean sighs unhappily, but complies, and pulls the impala onto the side of the road.

Within a few minutes they are off again, with Sam behind the wheel, while Dean is already asleep on the seat beside him.

* * *

They stop at the first motel they find, and once he's checked them in under a false id, Sam wakes Dean, and helps him into the room.

Once they're inside, Sam fishes Dean's medications out of one of the bags, and orders Dean in a tone remarkably similar to their father's. "Take these, Dean. And then get to bed, you won't get better without rest."

Knowing that his younger brother is right, Dean sulkily accepts the pills, swallows each one, and then collapses onto one of the beds.

All the while, Crystal watches their interaction with interest; she's never met two people so in tuned with each others needs.

* * *

As soon as Dean's settled into a bed, and Crystal is taking a shower, Sam picks up the phone, and dials Bobby's number. "Hey, Bobby. It's Sam."

"Sam. How're you going?" Bobby then asks. "Not in any trouble, are you?"

Sam sits down on one of the beds as he tells Bobby. "I'm alright, but…"

"But?" Bobby questions, it shouldn't even surprise him any more.

Sam sighs wearily. "Dean's got pneumonia, and we're holed up in a motel in North Iowa, because the hospital caught onto the insurance fraud. We're heading up to Jim Murphy's place in Minnesota."

"Damn it, boy. Is Dean gonna be okay?" Bobby asks with concern.

"The doctor started him on some meds, and Cryss managed to get enough of them that he'll be able to finish the course; he should be fine." Sam summarizes quickly.

"Do you need anything?"

Sam pauses noticeably before telling him. "Actually, we were thinking that we'll probably need some new ids and credit cards."

Bobby immediately answers. "No problem, Sam. Anything specific you need them to have?"

Sam thinks for a moment, he then says. "Well, one will need to be a pastor or a whatever, and we'll need two more. And I think Dean'll kill me if I choose another simple alias, so let's go with his way of doing it – Father James Hetfield, Dean, Sam Hagar, me, and how about…" Sam pauses, thinking about a third name; oh well two out of three isn't bad. "…Christy Jones. Okay?"

"Sure. I'll post them to the house."

"Thanks, Bobby. I'll call you when we get there." Sam says, he then turns around, and comes face to face with Crystal. "I've got to go, Bobby." Sam says quickly before hanging up the phone. One look at Crystal's face prompts Sam to question her. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." Is her simple reply, her expression then changes from one of confusion, to one of anger and fear, and she demands. "Who the hell are you?! Why were you talking about aliases and fraud?!" Her normally soft, gentle voice laced with emotions and hurt.  
Sam motions for her to sit down beside him, and she obliges before he tells her. "Our names aren't Sam and Dean Fredrickson, they're Sam and Dean Winchester, and since I was six months old, we've been travelling around the country, hunting with our Dad."

"Hunting?" Crystal questions uncertainly, not even processing the fact that the man in front of her has been lying to her since they met.

"…" Sam pauses before explaining. "This is going to sound crazy, and you're gonna think we're crazy, but… we hunt um, monsters, the things your worst nightmares wouldn't even touch."

"Really?" Crystal asks although she knows she should run far, far away, somehow she still trusts him.

Sam laughs nervously as he replies. "Yeah. You're okay with that?" The surprise in his voice is obvious.

Crystal also laughs nervously, sounding just as surprised as she says. "I think I am."

* * *

They get back on the road a couple of days later, Sam and Dean are both getting edgy that they're still too close to Iowa City, and at risk of getting caught. On their way, Crystal insists that they make a stop at a rehabilitation supply store in one of the towns, and with one of their older, but still usable credit cards, they buy a number of items for Sam.

* * *

As soon as they arrive in Blue Earth late in the afternoon, Crystal forces Dean straight into a bed, and not long after, Sam is also sound asleep in another room. Crystal then sets out cleaning the until now empty house, and preparing dinner for herself and the boys.

* * *

The next morning, after they've had breakfast, Crystal and Sam go into one of the rooms, which Crystal has set up all the physical therapy equipment in, and she starts working with him on some occupational therapy to help him regain more function in his hands.

* * *

A couple of weeks later, Dean is better, and Crystal and Sam have gotten into a routine of rehabilitation, and things are going well, until-

Crystal is surfing the internet, and out of boredom and curiosity, she types 'Sam and Dean Winchester' into a Google search.

As she scans through the random, meaningless results, Crystal is shocked when she sees one that features the words 'Dean Winchester', 'Sam Winchester', 'FBI', 'wanted for murder', and 'grave desecration'.

She clicks on the site, and as the page loads, she gets confirmation of her fears when Sam and Dean's pictures pop up on the screen.

_What the hell have I gotten involved in?!_

_Who are these guys!?!_

* * *

**TBC****...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**So, Crystal knows about Sam and Dean's true identities and their criminal records, what'll happen next? And while all this is going on, where is John? Still out hunting safe and sound, you should know me better than that by now.**

**Please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, and what you think should happen next.**


	21. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thank you all so much for each and every wonderfully kind review! **

**I'm going to start wrapping this fic up, it's been going a long time, and I think it's time.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Crystal storms up to Dean's room, where he is asleep on the bed, grabs a large book off the desk, and hurls it with surprising accuracy at his head.

Dean groans and rolls over with a shocked expression painted on his face as he rubs his head. "What the hell was that for?!"

"YOU'RE WANTED BY THE FBI FOR MURDER!?!" Crystal screams furiously at him.

_Oh shit. This is not good._ Dean thinks before he says. "I can explain, I swear."

"Explain?! You can explain this?!" Crystal yells at him as she picks the book back up, and threatens to throw again.

Dean sits up slowly as he says. "Come on, Cryss. Put the book down, and I'll explain everything."

"Explain everything?! You keep lying to me, Dean. Why would I believe a word that comes out of your mouth?!" Crystal questions him, not backing down at all, far from it as she grabs her cell phone, and starts dialling it. "I'm calling the police."

Dean jumps out of the bed, and is practically on his knees begging as he pleads with her. "Please Cryss, don't do that. Please let me explain. It really isn't what you think."

Crystal cancels the phone call, and still not relaxing, she says. "Fine. Explain."

Dean sighs, partially out of relief, partially out of apprehension before he says. "With what we do, sometimes we have to do things that aren't considered legal. But I promise you that we have never killed anyone innocent, and everything we have done has saved a lot of people."

Crystal is silent for a few minutes before she sighs, and tells him. "I don't know why I'm saying this, but I'm not going to call the police, I probably should, but I won't."

"Thank you." Dean whispers: clearly relieved.

* * *

Some time after their fight, Dean is cleaning the weapons, with Crystal watching curiously, when his cell phone rings. "Yea."

"Hello, is this Dean?" An official sounding voice questions him.

Dean pauses for a moment before cautiously saying. "So what if I am?"

"A …John Killimone listed you as his emergency contact when he hiked out into the Minnesota Woodlands last week; he was due to return two days ago-"

Dean interrupts the man he assumes is a park ranger by saying. "Thanks, I'll take care of this." Before snapping his phone shut, ending the call as he is already starting to stuff things into his duffel bag.

"What's going on, Dean? Is everything alright?" Crystal asks as she watches his frantic paced packing.

At this moment, Sam wanders out into the room, having overheard parts of Dean's phone call, and worriedly asks him. "What's wrong? What's happened, Dean?"

Dean briefly looks up as he tells them. "Dad's gone missing in the Minnesota Woodlands, I've gotta go find him."

_Wendigo. _Sam thinks as soon as he hears the location.

Dean continues talking as he resumes packing. "I'll hopefully be back in a few days, so just hang out here, and any luck this'll all turn out fine."

There is a pause before Sam moves over to his bed, and joins Dean in packing up their gear as he firmly insists. "No way, Dean, I'm coming with you."

Crystal steps forward from where she's been standing, and adds. "Me too."

Dean only sighs as he tells them. "Fine."

They continue to pack in silence, and leave within the hour.

* * *

Along the way they have to stop several times, because Sam is in pain, abused body feeling the strain of sitting for hours on end. And everytime Sam finally admits to the pain he is suffering, Dean pulls over quickly, and does everything he can to make him more comfortable, he can't help but feel guilty about dragging Sam with him.

* * *

They reach the Minnesota Woodlands late that evening, and settle into the first cheap motel they find, which Crystal describes as an 'experience'.

* * *

The next morning, Dean and Crystal go to the ranger's station, posing as federal agents to try and find out as much as they can about John's disappearance and why he was there in the first place, while Sam stays back at the motel, still worn out from the drive.

* * *

When they reach the rangers station, Dean hands Crystal an id from the box, and takes one for himself. "Let's go. Just watch and learn."

As they enter the station, a ranger greets them. "Hello. Can I help you two?"

Dean steps forward, and tells him. "Sure hope so. We're investigating the disappearance of John Killimone; what can you tell us about that? Family said he was supposed to get back three days ago."

The ranger pauses for a minute, pulling out a binder, and flicking it open to a page before he tells them. "He filled out a back country permit five days ago for two days. Seemed like he was well prepared for the hike and to camp, that's why we held off a day on calling the family, figured he knew what he was doing. We had a search party out a couple of days ago, but the weather's been making it too dangerous to get out there."

"We're gonna need a copy of the permit, and also, we'll need all your men to stay out of the area." Dean says coolly, glancing over at Crystal every few seconds to make sure she was keeping up the con.

Shockingly, the next question the ranger asks is. "Why?"

Maintaining his façade, Dean replies. "Ongoing investigation, it's classified."

The ranger mumbles something disgruntledly as he hands over a number of papers to Dean, and watches them turn and leave.

* * *

When they arrive back at the motel, Dean calls out to Sam, and is concerned when there is no response. He rushes over to where Sam is lying on the bed, and gently shakes his younger brother's body, eliciting a pained gasp.

"Sammy?! What's wrong?!" Dean asks frantically as he visually scans over his brother for any signs of injury.

Through gritted teeth, Sam replies. "Hurts… Couldn't reach the pills."

As Dean grabs the pill bottle, and shakes out a couple to give to Sam, he begins apologising profusely. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. I thought I left them somewhere you could reach them. I'm so sorry."

As soon as Sam shallows the pills, and Dean helps him settle back into the bed, Dean stands up, grabs his keys, and mutters a "I'm going out." To Crystal as he walks out the door.

* * *

**TBC****...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, and if there's anything you want to see before I finish this fic.**


	22. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thank you all so much for each and every wonderfully kind review! Final chapter at long last.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Dean returns several hours later, and collapses into bed. It isn't until the next morning that Sam can tell him the results of his research. "So it definitely is a wendigo. There've been ten disappearances already this year, and it's perfect hunting grounds for it."

Dean is only just out of bed, and pops a couple of Tylenol to combat his hangover before he responds. "Okay. You okay to head out this morning?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Sam says with more confidence than he feels.

At this moment, Crystal comes back from getting breakfast, and without showing the fear she feels, she asks them. "So what is it we're doing? When are we going to look for John?"

Dean quickly replies. "We're not doing anything, me and Sam will head out this morning, any luck we'll be back before dark." Seeing her incredulous expression, Dean adds. "You've got no training, this isn't a nature hike, you could get hurt."

"Then train me." Crystal says defiantly.

Sam and Dean exchange a glance, and then Dean tells her. "Fine, but you have to do exactly what we say."

"Fine." Crystal agrees quickly.

Reluctantly, Dean goes on to explain the basics of hunting to her.

* * *

They set out within the hour, and as they begin the hike, Dean can't help but worry about Sam, is he ready for this, will he be alright? Dean of course tries one last time to talk Sam out of coming, with no success.

* * *

When they finally finish the hike, and they round the corner to bring John's campsite into full view, Crystal gasps in horror, and even Sam and Dean fight to maintain some semblance of composure.

The tent is ripped to shreds, not even that. There isn't a single thing that is untouched.

"That thing did all this?" Crystal whispers, still clearly shocked.

Before Dean can answer, he sees a sight that will haunt him for the rest of his life. "Oh god."

Just outside the clearing, there is a small cave, and in an almost taunting position, John's motionless body is strung up from the ceiling.

Sam comes over to see what could have elicited such a response from his brother. He too is shocked by the sight, and it isn't until Crystal runs past them, towards John that they are brought out of their stupor, and follow her.

"He's still alive." Crystal calls out frantically as the boys reach her side, she turns to face them as she says. "Help me get him down."

Sam and Dean rush forward, and Sam quickly severs the ropes, while Dean and Crystal hold onto John.

As soon as John is free, Dean addresses Crystal. "Can you get him out of here? Just back to the campsite."

Crystal nods, and replies. "Okay. What're you going to do?"

Dean pulls out a flare gun he's carrying, and Sam follows suit as Dean answers. "Wait for it, and kill it." He pauses, and then tells Crystal. "When you get back to the campsite, I need you to put down a ring of salt, and whatever happens, whatever you hear, stay inside it."

Again Crystal nods, she then positions John's still unconscious body so that she can carry him to safety.

* * *

Almost as soon as Sam and Dean have somewhat relaxed, they are attacked from behind by the wendigo. Sam manages to get clear before it can attack him, but Dean is not so lucky, and the wendigo violently swipes at him with it's razor sharp claws.

Seeing his brother getting hurt, Sam grabs his flare gun, dropped in his haste to escape, and with careful precision to avoid hitting Dean, he fires a flare through the creature's heart.

The wendigo falls to the ground, dead, but Sam's victory is short lived, when he turns around and sees Dean lying motionless on the dirt, bleeding profusely from a number of slash wounds across his chest.

Sam forces himself to stay calm, and with adrenaline fuelled ability, he goes to Dean's side, and heaves him over his shoulder, so that in a feat that even he can't believe, Sam carries his brother back to the campsite, and lays him gently down on a damaged sleeping bag.

Sam looks over at Crystal, she is busily tending to John's multiple wounds. He is going to have to take care of his brother by himself.

* * *

When Dean regains consciousness several hours later, still layed out on the sleeping bag, covered by another one, he gingerly sits up, all too aware of a number of fresh sutures in his chest, and looks around the campsite; Sam is lying at his side, sound asleep, and Crystal is over beside John, watching over him closely.

"Cryss?" Dean calls out weakly, but it still is enough to bring her running to his side. He could get used to this.

As she kneels down beside him, Crystal enquires. "How're you doing, Dean?"

Dean shrugs as he responds. "Fine. Thanks for patching me up."

Crystal looks at him, slightly surprised as she goes on to explain. "I've been looking after your dad since we found him, I never even got a chance to check you over, Sam took care of you."

"Sam? How? I mean, this hands- There's no way…" Dean stumbles over his words, overcome.

"He did." Crystal tells him quickly, even though she can barely believe it herself.

_It wouldn't have been easy for him, but he took care of me; he managed to do freakin sutures, perfectly neat, well placed sutures._

_Despite all his injuries, despite the burns, he saved my life._

* * *

**Epilogue**

Six months later, Dean and Sam are back on the road, hunting; they tried being 'normal' for a while, but the hunt just kept finding them. They assume that John is hunting too, but they haven't seen him since he was sufficiently recovered from his run in with the wendigo. And with Sam and Dean's help Crystal has started a new life, with a new identity in California; she wanted to stay with the boys, but they wouldn't let her get into the life that they've been forced into.

* * *

**The End****.**

**Thanks for reading! ****Please review just one last time! **

**I don't really have any more SN fics in progress write now, but if you've gotten any ideas, I'd love to hear them.**


End file.
